Dazed but loved

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Yesterday I went to the Adelaide Show with a bunch of my favourite people. They took care of everything including the driving, and generally spoiled me. One of my younger, less traumatised parts spent most of the day out and had a great time. We were exhausted from lack of sleep and the fibro pain was pretty severe but it was a good day.

My dissociation level is incredibly high and I’ve been having a lot of flashbacks the past couple of days. Lying in bed that morning having a stressful conversation on the phone, I could feel my sense of my own body dissolving, fraying, like oil spreading over water. I’m not driving until it settles. Tonight is a friends birthday costume party, I’ve gone along in my purple dragon onesie and eaten a lot of sugar. People have been kind. Gradually my sense of self will return, like scattered birds flying home. The flashbacks will go back to rest, ghosts back to graves. I’ll be patient.

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