TEDx Talk & Art: Emotionally Safer Sex

Here it is at last. 🙂

It’s big, it’s scary (for me, hopefully not too much for you), and I’ve only watched it once because it’s the mother of all vulnerability hangovers and makes me tremble for hours.

But I’m so proud of it. I hope it feels safe, a friendly invitation to think differently about things and see safety and freedom and pleasure as interconnected. We can take better care of each other.

Please share it freely as a resource anywhere.

Free – find more of my writing about Emotionally Safer Sex.


‘Haven’ embellished with 24 karat gold

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TEDx – Emotionally Safer Sex

My topic for TEDx Adelaide is close to my heart. Personal, meaningful, at times uncomfortable and vulnerable, but very precious.


This is not easy. A friend noted yesterday that there’s some irony in what I do – working to make difficult things feel safer for others, in a way that so often feels risky and stressful for me.

It’s not easy but it is an amazing opportunity. I love sharing ideas that make a difference in the world, that help free people from ideas that were harming them. I love to give people permission to examine what they think they know. I love to validate people’s real, often unspoken experiences. I love to talk about complex concepts in plain language, and use words that describe experiences from the inside, not as a detached observer. I love to ease isolation and needless suffering, and to help people find ways to bear the pain that is the unavoidable cost of loving and being alive.

I don’t believe I have the answers, the map, the definitive guide, the solutions. What I do have is the capacity and willingness to share my personal experiences, the ability to absorb and synthesise a lot of research and written knowledge, and the opportunity to gather feedback from others and add it to my ideas.

I can’t tell you what what emotionally safer sex, or mental health, or connected relationships, or a meaningful life will look like for you.

But I can start these conversations in a compassionate and authentic way, and invite you along.

Let’s talk about sex.

Join me at TEDx Adelaide.