This was a four part project in my painting class at college, each panel we were given specific instructions about tone/hue/method of application and so on. This piece was my favourite, which surprised me because the colours were all so muddy and ugly on my palette, but together they are such a subtle blend. I had to work with round shapes, for this one I used large dry brush round, and tiny paint dots. I like the dots, they spoke to me.

I’m relieved and a little sad to have handed in my final project and finished the class. Next week I’ll start photography which I’m sure will be interesting. Life is blurring by me at the moment, I’m taking off as much time as I can to rest before I get properly sick. I’m a little overwhelmed and dispirited. Nothing is simple with my business. Reminders of Leanne, my dead friend, are everywhere, like the way Amanda’s Facebook profile always shows up on my feed as a possible friend to invite to events even though she died last year. It doesn’t hurt as badly as it first did, but there’s a wrongness to her being dead that’s hard to reconcile myself to. I want her to be here so badly, to visit and laugh and tell me she loves me again. Life is fragile, and I’m sad.