I’m currently sitting in the waiting room of my local DES, these are the guys who  help people with disabilities access work. In the car on the way here, I discovered to my horror that the jeans I pulled on before running out the house have a large damp patch of cat piss on them. I couldn’t go back to change without running late. So I am going to brave this appointment, wearing car air freshener sprayed all over my lower half, and pretending I can’t feel a damp patch on my left leg, or smell anything amiss. I really hope the room isn’t too small. Being a disability service they may just assume I have continence issues!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is chutzpah.