Anxiety & Mindfulness

I’m working on this a lot lately, as it has huge implications for my health and business. When I’m highly anxious my eating becomes disordered, and I tend to over work obsessively and only half productively, without giving myself real time off to recharge. This can spiral badly. I’m in a short intensive mentoring course for my business and we’re identifying the key areas that are causing stress and limiting my ability to be productive and efficient and energetic. I’m having a lot of trouble with anxiety as stress comes in from all angles. This morning I was overwhelmed by a to do list of terrifying things and time pressure to get them done in. I woke at 5 and couldn’t get back to sleep but was exhausted and wired and paralysed by anxiety.

After talking things through with a couple of friends and doing some journaling, I finally reached this place:

Right here and right now, everything is okay.
All the fears are just fears
They’ve no more substance than shadows
I don’t have to live my whole week this morning
I just have to be present in this moment,  to pay attention to it, to be aware of it, to enjoy what beauty there is in it.
I will eat and rest and do the tasks at before me, and stay in today.
That way, there will be more than just stress
There will also be noticing my lily is blooming, and enjoying my breakfast, and texting with my love, and all the other little unexpected treasures of the day.

Right here and right now, everything is okay.
Stay present.

It helped. I had a good day, I did a lot of work on my tax paperwork without much stress, enrolled in college, and did my business planning. I wrote in my journal:

Anxiety is a thief that steals each day from me, so distracting me with visions of a future on fire that I do not even notice the loss.

Today it took nothing. 🙂

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