Today Rose and I had the pleasure of heading out for a day with her three nieces. Rose has been incredibly blessed to have so many gorgeous kids in her life, although of course this had also been painfully bittersweet at times of her own pregnancy losses. I’ve lost or walked away from almost all of my social networks and found myself in a painful vacuum where kids exist only as a kind of abstract ideal, a hole in me that aches and make me cry in the baby aisle at supermarkets. Now I have an absolutely beautiful goddaughter, Sophie, whom I adore and who is about to turn 2, and I’m also getting to know some of the wonderful kids in Rose’s life. It’s a huge privilege. The kids reactions range from dismay at sharing their Rose with me to delight at a new interested adult. The face painting is of course a pretty decent bonus.

Today I have yet another sinus infection and bout of tonsillitis, but dosed up with meds and we all went out on a trip to a petting farm called Hahndorf Farm Barn. It was a great day, the baby chickens were a particular favourite and I think between us we cuddled every one there at least once. The kids also patted a snake, milked a cow, snuggled rabbits, fed kangaroos, and got a little spooked by the emus. At the end of it all we wiped out and I got cuddles on the couch at home from miss three. There’s really no greater vote of confidence in your hopes for parenthood than trust and affection from a child who has plenty of other loving adults to hang out with. 🙂

Now I’m off to bed and hoping to sleep this damn thing off.