Believe it or not, I’m now in a baseball league! I spent this morning running around a pitch with Rose and a couple of friends, practicing fielding and batting. I never thought this would be something I enjoy, but I had a fantastic time! Turns out the experience of sports is completely different if you’re not in high school anymore. 😉 I started to support Rose who was keen to play and also because exercise can play a huge role in improving mood and mental health. While I’m out there I’m so focused on what I’m learning there’s no room for anxiety.

Running around a field in the sunshine with my mates slowly improving my abysmal skills in throwing, catching with a mitt using my left hand – honestly, I’m bad enough with my right and using a mitt feels to me like trying to grab the ball with a waffle iron – and actually hitting the ball from time to time with a thin but of tarted up pipe… well it was awesome. The coaches don’t mind that I’m an unfit total beginner who had never even watched a game of baseball and needed every bit of lingo explained, and the feeling of catching the ball or knocking it across the field was great!

Afterwards we all had lunch and lay around with ice packs. I’ve got a pretty nice bruise from catching balls on my left hand, and some even prettier ones on my arms and chest from not quite catching a few. Unlike fibro pain, which is diffuse, bone deep, and makes me feel sick and exhausted, this is quite manageable. War wounds. I’m kinda proud. Tomorrow may be interesting but I’m planning gentle walks and hot baths.

Being part of a team, learning new skills, running around but enough stop-start for me to catch my breath, and coaches giving great advice at every step… It’s the polar opposite experience of trying to run a small business as a sole trader where there’s no guide, I have to be instantly amazing at everything, and if I’m not sure about something I’d better fake it and hope no one notices. It felt like falling backwards into a big cloud of marshmallow by comparison. Friends! Encouragement! Advice! No one to beat but myself. I think I really like sport. 🙂

The rest of today was blissful laziness watching movies and in a rare fit of American culinary appreciation, having BBQ ribs for dinner. What a great day. I am so pleased. I’ve had a real turn around this week, I’m still often pretty paralysed, but I’m having half days and whole days where I feel like myself again and life is good. I’m coming back.