Bliss

We had a fun Halloween this year a dress up party with friends. I baked pumpkin scones, Rose made guacamole. Star dressed as a vampire, Poppy as a skeleton, and I went as Frida. Now we’re home (except Star) watching The Lone Ranger in our underwear. (it’s warm here) 

We are getting a little better at travelling in the evenings! We had a huge breakthrough the other night. We all went out to a family birthday which was too important to miss even though we were all dreading getting Poppy home again in the car seat of eternal unhappiness. 

For the first time, we actually made it all the way without stopping! We all sang together at the top of our lungs and that seemed to work some kind of magic. At one point we were singing Cave’s ‘Into my Arms’, and I remembered Rose and I singing that song on our way to the first scan to see if Poppy was growing okay, tears streaming down our cheeks and our hearts already broken. Here we all were, singing it to the most beautiful baby in the world, as I drove through the night: singing her home. I wept again, drove through tears. Such joy in this life together. In the space of a year, my life has completely changed. I have a whole beautiful family to tend, and they are my heart! Star has been with us for 9 months now, and Poppy for 11 weeks. I no longer fear the roles, I’ve come through the initiations and I am still myself. It feels like I’ve finally reached a place I’ve been homesick for most of my life. Beneath all the other feelings and goings-ons, contentment flows like the deepest river. It bubbles up into my days as the most heartfelt bliss. I am at this moment, truly fortunate. 

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