Thank you all kindly, I really appreciate it. I am wrestling with exhaustion and having a lot of down days lately, where my energy is low and it feels like the world is a dark and scary place. It was really wonderful to wake up on my birthday and feel excited that on that day, my world would be a flood of friendly messages. Things didn’t quite go to plan and got really stressful in the middle with dismantling furniture and all kind of shenanigans and my Facebook app not letting me see or respond to half of the messages, which was bothering me because I hate responding to some people and not others in case someone feels hurt, but I couldn’t get a spare minute to get onto my computer… And it all got messy in my brain and I went and hid. There’s been a lot going on lately and my anxiety is high.
Rose, being brilliant and knowing me well, has set up a gift every day for a week and arranged a lunch tomorrow with my family. ❤ So I’ve had little gifts and warm messages coming in every day; a box of chai lattes, a lovely new journal. This weekend she’s arranged a camping trip so we can use my new birthday tent! Close friends are keeping me company online at times which helps when nothing feels safe and I need to debrief some of the stressors.
Today was the first day in long while I’ve been happy all day and it’s been wonderful. I had a good counseling appointment this morning which left me feeling hopeful and energised. I’ve enjoyed my family and my work, played board games, tacklef tricky things on my to do list, and felt excited about my life. Even a little bit loved and special. 🙂 How delightful!
So, thanks everyone who reached out. You’re awesome and I appreciate having you in my life, even on the days I’m struggling and can’t feel your goodwill or care of find any words to respond graciously. I fall into holes from time to time and I crawl out of them again. I’m glad you’re still here. x