I have thought often lately, about the idea that some people seem to do life on a harder difficulty setting than others. I have been fiercely contemplating how I might be able to lower the setting in my own life. So far I have decided I am going to

Replace the jungle of mismatched containers in my kitchen with a set of no more than 4 sizes that stack with matching lids

Dig out most of the front garden, replace the shrubs with low maintenance succulents, and mulch it

Quit project based work and replace it with a smaller amount of gig based work

Meal plan for lunch and dinners

Have cooking days and freeze portions

Schedule all the chores

Create a nest space in the home for anyone coping with overwhelm – bed, laptop for movies, books, headphones, toys, blankets, Lego, and air conditioner

Limit Poppy’s access to toys and games, change the system to adults access on her behalf so not too many things can be spread across the home at any one time

Initiate a toy/activity rotation system

Limit the number of clothes Poppy has in each size

There are a range of significant disabilities in my home. It’s time we catered better for this.

In other news, Rose is still in an awfully rough way but being discharged into my care on Monday. I’ve been instructed to simply ‘stop being her carer’ by mental health staff. When I’ve suggested she stay nearby instead of coming home where I have my hands full and a young child who shouldn’t be exposed to intense distress, I’ve been told by these staff that Rose is too unwell to be discharged to live alone, but not unwell enough for any other care option, and if I won’t take her they’ll send her to a shelter. Meaning I’m expected to care for her while being instructed not to care for her. I continue to value accruing my ‘lived experience’ in this sector. 🙄😒😠 {sarcasm font}

Star has come down with bacterial tonsillitis and is incredibly miserable. And now Poppy has come down sick. I’ve spent most of day cleaning, meal planning, shopping, organising for Poppy’s birthday this weekend, and trying to keep my head together.

It would be really nice if someone could unjam the difficulty setting from ‘hellish’ and move it back in the direction of ‘stroll in the park’. In the meantime I’m tremendously glad for generous friends, wonderful family, beautiful art buying customers, wonderful clients, and having a keen sense of the absurd. Because when you find yourself cleaning poop off a small plastic turtle after the least successful attempt to clean the toddler in a bath ever, you’re either going to burn down the house or laugh.

Still choosing to laugh.