College is over for the year!

WHOOOT! I am so tired. It’s nearly 3pm and I’m in my dressing gown still. I submitted my journal and drawing portfolio last night, and the lecturer said I had ‘a strong body of work’. Yay. Here’s some photos for you – some you’ve seen part finished, and one I did yesterday in a style I’ve never tried before. I submitted 9 complete works and a folder of experiments. All are A1 size (some are close-ups). I’m pretty proud of myself. 🙂

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Drawing class – charcoal

2 hour charcoal drawing from objects arranged by our tutor. I quite enjoy these, they’re challenging. The subject matter is extremely dull, but our task was converting colours to their tonal value of grey. The funnel, bucket, and lantern are actually all primary colours.

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Drawing – ‘After’

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Mixed media drawing made in art class, primarily charcoal. We’re experimenting with different ways of layering and building up images. I like the ghostly landscape behind the charcoal one, it seems surreal and dream like to me. The whole work turned out surprisingly reminiscent of a landscape after bushfire. This process way of creating is very alien to me, I generally know exactly how I want something to turn out when I start an artwork. There’s something to be said for exploring and being surprised, it’s liberating.

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Making marks

I was really sick at at college on Monday. Shaky, exhausted, nauseated, and really struggling to focus. I didn’t get much sleep the night before, and my plans to park by the tram stop and get in that way didn’t work out because all the parks by the tram stop were very time limited and didn’t give me enough time to get in and back again. In Drawing class we were investigating different ways of making marks with willow and compressed charcoal. I really struggled to stay focused and keep getting teary and needing to slip away to cry. I hate not being well enough to enjoy college. My tutor at the end of the lesson asked me if I was bored and I’m glad he did because I was glad to clarify that I was just sick!

I kept trying to figure out what was making us so sick, (apart from the usual) and if it was a parts based thing and we could switch. Sometimes I felt better for a bit when music was playing but I couldn’t seem to stabilise and make anything work. I think I need to find out replace my MP3 player and eight that helps keep me anchored if that was the issue. In the end I just let it roll over me and did my best to get through the day. Sometimes taking the pressure off is the best you’re going to get.
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It’s an interesting process to see how many limiting ideas I have about art, and how little I let myself experiment when I’m anxious about the cost of the materials. How every piece must be good enough to justify the time and money spent on creating it. It’s not surprising that I find myself blocked and shut down with these mindsets. I’m hopeful about clearing my head more so I can be more creative and explore my favourite materials.

These were some of the marks I made with this process that spoke to me:

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Rose was wonderful she made me this great lunch, dropped me off and picked me up after college. I was fragile and distressed so she took me home and read Harry Potter to me until I slept.