I spent wednesday at home weathering a lousy day. I have a neighbour making my life difficult and that’s done my brain over a bit. I was looking forward to a shrink appt in the morning, but unfortunately they were sick so the brilliant timing of ‘depressing problem’ + ‘person to talk to’, turned into a frustrating morning of ‘up unnecessarily early’ + ‘can’t think straight’ instead. I have admin tasks banking up again I’m too anxious to handle and I’ve stopped answering my phone. A couple of persistent people are calling me several times a day. I’ve stopped carrying my phone around with me too. I’ve been having trouble with minor vandalism and some thefts happening when I’m away so I didn’t leave home all day. I did manage one critical admin task – to ask Australia Post not to leave parcels on my doorstep anymore, and to tuck my mail all the way into my letter box. Hopefully no more mail going missing now. So far $25 worth of inks have been stolen.
I tried to paint my journals today, I’ve been looking forward to that all week but when I’m not in a good head space sometimes it doesn’t work and just increases my stress. Today was one of those days so I stopped part way through when my head started to crash out.
Went to inks instead. I don’t know why, but even when I’m distressed I can usually make ink paintings. I ended up making three, and then cuddling up with Zoe on the couch to watch some sad movies. I’ll keep my head down until things settle internally. I have to leave the house tomorrow as I’m out of a medication that reduces pain.