Attack of the improbably large, surprise lynx

The talk last night about supporting people in Dissociative Crisis went really, really well. As it was stupidly hot there was just a small group of us so I shifted the format a bit and allowed comments and questions through the talk. There was such interest we wound up running horrendously overtime, by almost 2 hours! I got very positive feedback from everyone which was great. It’s funny the areas people find surprising or difficult to understand, I’m finding I have to keep emphasising the really severe level of stigma that people with DID often face. This morning I’m off to give the same talk again, it’s still pretty darn hot and I haven’t slept very well so hopefully I can pull it out of the bag again. I feel like someone’s tried to stove in the back of my head with a post, actually. I’ve just taken some pain killers and drunk more water and stuffed some books beneath my portable air conditioner to try and force it to actually direct some air onto me instead of over me and now I’m waiting for miraculous improvement.

Last night was very patchy sleep, irritated skin, cold showers, and weird dreams. I’ve just woken up from a weird lucid type dream where everything I was worried about happened. As in, I’m standing in an alley way, thinking to myself, ‘wow it would be scary if a big cat appeared just there, I wouldn’t have a hope of escaping’. At which point a Bengal tiger walks around the corner. Then, uncontrollably, my thoughts turn to ‘you know, a lynx would be even scarier’. The tiger turns into a lynx, but remains tiger sized. This is the largest lynx I’ve ever seen, with an oddly elongated and sinewy neck. It pads over towards me as I freeze and desperately try to remember the rules for not upsetting a lynx. I find myself looking into its eyes while my brain is screaming ‘are you supposed to make eye contact or avoid it? STOP UPSETTING IT!’ The lynx is clearly unhappy, backs off a few feet while watching me intently, drops to its belly and gives that tell tale wiggle while my brain goes into foaming panic, then springs at me.

At which point, I wake up.

So, apparently I’m secretly, deeply concerned that I haven’t brushed up on my Escaping-and-not-enraging-big-cats strategy lately. Anyone care to enlighten me?

2 thoughts on “Attack of the improbably large, surprise lynx

  1. Wow Sarah, your talk was absolutely AMAZING to say the least!!! I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I left and found my self in a dissociate state driving home (in a good way if that makes sense:) It’s such an incredible, fascinating, mind boggling and unique story that can not be conveyed in literature with the same character with which you did. The best way to learn about mental health is through the people living the experience…….every second of every day….and I find it remarkable the place that you at where you can be so open and use your vulnerability to help others learn and work towards reduce the massive amount of stigma. The way you speak is so engaging and passionate…..I am supposed to be spending this morning studying stats but no doubt I am going to spend it on your page. Wow I feel so extremely lucky to have met you:) I am hoping to attend some of the groups next year and I would love to borrow some of your books also. I hope I wasn’t annoying everyone with my questions…..I was trying to restrain myself but wasn’t doing a very good job. x Megan

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    • Thanks Megan, I hope you find this blog useful or thought provoking. It was great to meet you too, in the contrary, you were asking great questions and my sense was that the group benefited from them. Thankyou for such positive feedback, it is very appreciated! I look forward to seeing you again next year, take care of yourself 🙂 xxx

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