So, I’m knee deep in study again, and falling horribly behind as my sinuses continue to prove the upcoming surgery is sorely needed… I’m working really hard on being able to undo the blocks in my mind and understand the terms. I’m not stupid but wow I’ve found this hard. I hate so much about the corporate and bureaucratic worlds, and feel so out of my depth in them that my mind just shuts down. I’m trying to figure out what I need to be able to engage with it all. So far one little useful shift has been to see it all as a new language that I’m learning. It really is in so many ways – a whole bunch of new words, or new meanings for words, and a whole underlying world-view and series of assumptions that I find subtle and often very distasteful, such as the idea that everyone wants to make massive amounts of money. I’m coping better if I think of it as a new language and culture – I need to learn it to be effective in my freelance work, to navigate the complex world of organisations and legislature. But learning another language doesn’t mean I have to go ‘native’. I can choose to retain my own values and frameworks. It’s a huge challenge for a mad artist to venture into this world and try to find things of value when my overarching response falls somewhere between suspicion and terror. But there are others who’ve walked this path before me, and often humour is the way they’ve coped with the hypocrisy, inefficiency, and dehumanisation that are so often part of these processes. That is a comfort to me!