It was everything, beautiful, painful, resting, freeing. I don’t want to be home yet. My life doesn’t feel like mine. This coming week I have a massive list of college homework due, a network board meeting, a cremation, and our engagement party.

Still admin. Bank, welfare, public housing, all causing major issues. Promising to call back and never calling back. I am full of a kind of horror about having to try and deal with them again.

The days are very long when I’m free of my routines. They are full of nooks and little opportunities for happiness, a book, a bit of writing, an artwork, a bath. I wish I felt more free, less compulsive, less crowded.

I’m home again. I’ll look for small ways to be more free. Or we’ll run again. Even counting up the cost of nice meals and a beautiful place to stay with a spa bath, the whole week cost less than a night in psych hospital would,and did a lot more for us both. Breaking the routines helps.