Multiplicity – What is co-fronting and blending?

There’s a lot of new terms to learn when you’re engaging the wonderful world of multiplicity, because in some ways multiples function very differently. Some of these terms are clinical, which basically means invented by shrinks and doctors, and some have come into use through books and autobiographies written by multiples. One of the trickiest aspects of language is that it is not fixed – shades of meaning evolve over time. With a fairly ‘new’ lexicon like that around multiplicity, this is even more the case, and as admin of a large online group, I’m constantly surprised by the new terms or new meanings ascribed to terms I come across. Most people have a fairly idiosyncratic take on language and it’s often helpful to double check what they mean when they use a certain word. Having said that, there’s also value in having dictionaries of definitions to help us communicate with each other, particularly for those who are new to the topic and can feel bewildered by the terms being thrown around. For more common terms and discussion about language see Language, definitions, and common terms over at the DI.

Co-fronting or co-hosting refers to a process where more than one part is out, inhabiting the body at the same time. I’ve personally experienced this, the first time I was aware of it, it was a very strange moment. A sense of shared space slowly dawned on me, and with the awareness came a sense of something precariously balanced that would quickly collapse if I thought about it too much or had too strong a reaction to it. “I” was talking to someone who was struggling with a difficult situation. That tends to be my area, I have the counselling/listening skills and inclination. So the face, the voice, the mouth, the eye contact were all mine as I interacted with this person. However, we were also making dinner at the time. Someone else was doing that – moving hands to chop vegetables, borrowing eyes to read the recipe and use a knife and stove safely. We coexisted for about 20 minutes and then one of us went inside and the other took over completely. It was startling and surprisingly graceful.

I’ve had other experiences such as having an adult out while a distressed child takes over the hands to scratch at raw skin, or being able to soothe that child by asking Rose to gently stroke our hands.

There’s a similar term that means something a little different – co-consciousness. That refers to more than one part being aware of what’s going on in the body/the outside world at the same time. The opposite process of co-consciousness is amnesia, where only the part who is out is creating memories of what they are doing. Everyone else in a system may be sleeping/unconscious, talking with each other, or doing other things in an internal world. They may or may not be aware time is passing. They may be fighting for control of the body, but they are not sharing it. Awareness without any control of the body can be helpful or frankly traumatising, depending on the circumstances. For more about this see  What is co-consciousness?

Systems vary widely in their experiences of multiplicity, something I can never seem to say enough. For some parts, when they are not ‘out’ in the body they may have no awareness, or total co-consciousness. Some systems have never experienced co-fronting, while others do it all the time. It can be as simple as one part running the body and cleaning the house and another part quickly reaching out with a hand to snatch to safety an item of value that would otherwise wind up in the trash. To some extent, we all do things with our bodies that are outside of our awareness at times – body language is full of examples of this where our feelings or impulses are expressed through escape movements, muscle tension, micro-expressions, and subtle cues we are frightened, aroused, bored, or resentful. Consciousness, identity, and awareness are all complicated and interesting aspects of the human experience, and it’s certainly not just multiples who have experiences outside of their perception of control and volition – although the scale of those experiences can be much more confronting and intense.

To discuss co-fronting we are also getting into the territory of how switching between parts works for various systems. For some, switching is instantaneous as blinking, while others take a long time. (for more about switching, see Rapid switching) Some don’t so much co-front with two separate selves as blend between selves in ‘switches’ that can take hours or days to resolve to a single part. Some systems experience ‘blending’ or ‘merging’ where two or more parts come together for periods of time and function in a unified way before separating out again. This can be highly productive or sometimes totally the reverse – periods of blending or temporary integration can be times of chaos, dysfunction, confusion, and exhaustion. (for more about this, see What’s the deal with integration?) I know people with multiplicity at both ends of that spectrum – some for whom they are never stronger and clearer than when their A Team has got together, and others who are foggy to the point of barely coherent and shut down for days when their system gets stuck with more than one part blended. For some systems both outcomes are possible at different times or under different circumstances.

The topic of co-fronting raises interesting questions about how parts relate to the body. The multiplicity lingo tends to be borrowed from the old ideas of a ‘brain/body’ split where there is a difference between existing in the mind and inhabiting the body. It gets very interesting when you start to wonder about things like – where do parts come from, and where do they go when they are not ‘out’? How is conscious awareness different from bodily awareness? What are parts, exactly? I’m fascinated by the way we explore these ideas so little in the literature and make such sweeping declarations about how this all works. The reason these questions are so difficult to answer is that we don’t have the answers for non-multiples either. We don’t know how consciousness works, how self awareness and identity interact. How a single sense of self is created from a multitude of brain processes occurring simultaneously. How memory, emotion, and perception overlap and impact decision making processes. We have theories and observations and big gaps in our knowledge base. Every year we learn more and more about our brains, and every new bit of information challenges an existing idea in some way. As nice as certainty can be, it’s not really how science and knowledge work. In the meantime however, finding language to describe experiences and exploring how we are all similar and different is a powerful aspect of learning, connecting, growing, and living deeply.

For more information see articles listed on Multiplicity Links, scroll through posts in the category of Multiplicity, or explore my Network The Dissociative Initiative.

17 thoughts on “Multiplicity – What is co-fronting and blending?

  1. Hi, I’m Cero and I’m really a questioning system. I will try and explain. (This is also a better written one. It was bothering me, the last one, with all of the mistakes so I wrote it again, sorry about that!)
    I have never heard any of the voices saying that they were in front. I call them by their names or alters, but because I don’t want to disrespect anyone of the community, I will call them voices until I’m sure, they really do not mind actually.
    We are always co fronting while I’m, Cero, always the one taking over the body. I’m always hearing them and we are always having conversations. It’s really weird if I don’t hear them and I panic and get scare, that usually ends with me hearing them again trying to calm me down.
    At times, I do feel like I’m not controlling what I’m doing with a hand or a leg, minimal stuff. The majority of the time I’m taking over the body completely.
    There has been times were I have just woken up or actually realise where I’m going or take my surroundings. I mean it in the way that I know that I’m going out and I sit down on the car with my family, but then I actually DO realise what I’m actually doing, as if I was just daydreaming and woke up to realize that I did do eveything, I have the memory but don’t remember doing it.
    One times I was in school and I was with my sister, talking, I usually prefer to be alone in school but I was with her. Suddenly I do notice my surroundings and she had just said “keep it a secret” I asked her what she meant, not really understanding what was happening and she said “good, you don’t even remember, but you really have bad memory”. To this day I don’t know what she was talking about and it has been 6-7 years.
    There are also times when I am with the littles, I will call them littles and not voices, they get sad if I call then that. I can feel them with me but the difference is that while the older voices don’t take over the body, the littles do take over how I or the body is acting. I start to act more childish and do stuff like wanting my plushies or just doing noises because I’m very energetic all of a sudden. Then I come back to myself and I can’t hear them. Usually Yuki, one of the caretakers, as I call her, takes them away.
    I do remember times when I was actually very different. When I was a child, like 8-12, I was more happy and energetic. Then one day that just changed. I began to be more afraid and everything. I found out a little called (littles name) and that is actually my dead name. Don’t get me wrong I love that name with all my heart and still use it with my family only but the little uses it so I will keep it private. She was actually part of me but we split up out of the sudden. Now I go by He/Him but I don’t really care about any pronouns, you can use any pronouns, like my family, they still call me she/her even though I prefer he/him but I don’t mind it.
    So I literally feel like I’m looking at my passed self when I look at the little, she even looks like the body but in a younger way. I on the other hand still remember how I look, I look exactly like a fantasy or anime character in our inner world for all that I can remember. I remember it so vividly that I can look at a mirror and see my inner-wold-self in the mirror when in reality it’s the body that the mirror sees. I’m actually scare of mirrors and avoid them.
    But even with all of that I’m still confuse, a questioning system, I don’t want to have a name for it because what if I don’t and I’m just insulting people that do have it? I did have a therapist but it was years ago, now I don’t and we don’t have the money, my mom would just say that I’m okay.
    I even at times remember the inner world and at times I am in the inner world when the body is loosing conciousness, or then I wake up or realize that it’s already morning and someone was doing our morning routine or was it me? I can’t really tell because my inner world memories are locked up, I do at times gets flahsbacks of it and that’s how I remember my actual appearance and even can draw our inner world or doing it in a game. Now I’m actually remembering more of the inner world while when I was younger, I couldn’t at all.
    It’s there something wrong with me or is it just part of it? I’m really confuse and find myself questioning myself almost everyday, only for them to calm me down a little and continue with my day talking with them, Karma, persecutor, even told me that it was for my own good that I was never fronting alone. Surprising because he is always insult or fighting with me 24/7, Akuma having to push him away from co fronting with me.
    I still remember the last time I wasn’t fronting with anyone, that day I slept all day long or was trying to get back in the inner world. I know because I remember a feeling, like if I was being pushed away from not entering, so I stayed sleeping all day and forgetting to eat. I ended up getting sick and vomit the whole night. I was send to the hospital and everything. So yeah, I can get very bad when no one is co fronting with me, even if they never take over the body, just having them on the back of my mind talking or quiet helps me stay calmer than lonely and sick.

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  2. I’m not sure if it’s DID but there are three of us sharing the same mind. I’m mostly the dominant one. Marco is the violent one, always angry and thinking about hitting anyone. The other is a girl, quiet, shy and always doing the right thing, she never told me her name. We’re always aware of each other’s presence but they do not come out or take charge. Only a few times, like my one hand trying to open the door of the moving van etc. It’s Marco fighting for the control but the girl never tries to take over. She talks to me, gives me advice on what to do.
    I’ve never talked about it to anyone because I’m not sure about it and I don’t want them to find out so I’m writing with Marco’s name (although he is angry with me for that). Can it be co-front?

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    • Hi folks, it certainly sounds to me like you’re describing an experience of multiplicity – which simply means having more than one self. Fighting for control of the body is one way of co-fronting. The girl who is aware and shares advice sounds like what’s called co-consciousness where more than one self is aware of what’s going on. You might find this article about different types of multiplicity a helpful place to start. 🙂

      https://di.org.au/about-multiplicity/

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  3. Please post on fronting for the first time,my Dr suspects did and so do I,I had an experience the other day where my personality was pushed to the back of my mind and it felt like someone else was so to speak in charge,my concern is is this all my imagination? it felt pretty real to me and I am only learning at this point. I have had the experience of being pushed out before but it hasn’t happened again yet.

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  4. HI Sarah . Thank you for your information on co-fronting. I’ve been trying to map our system. Currently we are three me (Bee) April and Summer. April sleeps alot but wakes up to write and hang out with our girlfriend. Summer hardly ever sleeps any more and I’m always here except when we first wake up somtimes I don’t always wake up first. I’m not sure if this is somthing your interested in but today I figured out if I take my shoes off and stand barefoot out side we have a much stronger co-front we played basketball I dribbled right handed and Summer played left handed and we kicked our sons butt two games in a row ( 10 to zero both games) . Lol he’s 6’3 and has won awards playing . This is new for us but so cool. Have you heard of anything like this before ? Also there are as best I can tell 13 and a half more in the system. Really 15 and a half but two I’m told only come out in very dangerous situations(life or death or fights) I’ve heard stories but have never communicated with them. Are we normal I mean have you heard of others like us ? I’ve tried other sites to chat but no one has really responded . Any insight would be so appreciated. Love. Bee A. S. & C. (C. Is always here,sort of, but doesn’t communicate the same way the three of us do )

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    • Hey hello there, congrats on figuring out how to whomp your son’s butt! Nicely done. 🙂 Nothing you’ve shared sounds very unusual to me, I’ve spoken with loads of multiples and systems over the years, plenty have around 15 members, it’s common for some time not come out very often or at all, and loads of systems co-front. Multiplicity is highly diverse and that is ‘normal’ because it’s about identity and identity is diverse! However there is plenty of common ground, similar experiences, and universal needs. I know for us, finding done peers and feeling less freakish and alone really helped. I hope it does for you guys too. 🙂

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      • Oh hi I just noticed you answered.! Thank you so much I feel so much better! We have a covert narcissist (outsider) stalking us C. Says it’s not safe to talk right now. She’s almost always right. I have a million questions. But I can’t ask them right now. When C. Gives the ” all clear ” I will. THANK YOU for answering.
        Love, Bee.

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    • Guess this is another no one talks place. Oh well . In case anyone ever reads this we tried the basket ball thing today it didn’t work Summer didn’t even remember doing it (she has a really short memory don’t know why) mabey I imagined it . C. Says there are signs our Internet traffic is being monitored again so we can’t write for now . Bye all. Bee.

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