What I want for Mother’s Day

Today has had its moments but overall I want a refund.

I want infant thermometers to use standard batteries that are stocked by the chemist or the bloody hardware store. I want our road not to be the bloody detour for all the roadworks in the area. I want concentrated baby medications that don’t mean forcing 4 litres of the damn stuff down a screaming infant, and a delivery method that doesn’t involve most of it being spit up or vomited out all over us both. I want severe pain in a child to be treated as a medical emergency. I want all my t-shirts currently covered in spit, snot, milk, medication, and vomit to be magically clean and back in my drawer because wearing them for less than 2 hours shouldn’t count given how hard it was to get clean clothes happening this week. I want suppositories to be less freaky stressful and more effective at staying put and doing their damn job. I want a clearer sense of when to go back to hospital and when it’s just a waste of precious spoons. I want a way to painlessly kill the nerves in Poppy’s front teeth, bring down her fever, and stop having to put her through things she’s hating and distressed by, because I feel like having to hold down my screaming child one more damn time this week is too damn much. I want the sense of guilt and haunting uncertainty that maybe I haven’t done everything possible or made the right calls to go away. Should we have yelled at people last time we were in hospital? If only we’d called the dental service again while it was still a business day, maybe they would have changed their minds? Am I 100% sure there’s no faster way to do this? I want the stabbing pain from my sinus infection to go away. I want the bloody remote to be in reach. I want my girls to feel better. I want to sit out in the sunshine and eat something delightful and feel clean and smell nice and have a cheerful little person on my lap.

What I have got for Mother’s Day has been the loveliest card I’ve ever been given, by Poppy. A picture book full of mother cats being amazing, a lovely new shower curtain with absolutely no mold on it, a pretty Spiral-lock to tie up my hair, a cool hat, and a light jacket that looks like the night sky. I’ve got family dropping by with beautiful cooked dinner, friends checking in over text, donations to help us with the surgery, hugs when I yelled at Rose for not answering her phone, a lovely phone call with my own mum, and a living, generally happy and healthy baby cuddled into my chest. I’ve laughed, cried, hugged, snuggled, fought, yelled, pinned down, been soothingly patted (by Poppy), cried on, and loved. It’s far from bad. It could be much worse. It could be a lot better. It doesn’t all even out. It’s just awfulwonderfulhardamazing. It just is.

12 thoughts on “What I want for Mother’s Day

  1. Sarah will poppy tolerate a warm flannel on her face or even a cute baby wheat bag but l suggested a flannel because they are non
    scary and more plyable or even a warm gell pack. If she likes the warmth do some experimenting maybe and introduce it to her just as a snuggly but then slowly let her face rest on it. Warmth can sooth the pain a little but it is also wrapped up in old body memories of comfort and security. I dont know if it will help its just a though.
    GOOD LUCK
    Maybe get yourself a warm fuzzy comfortor too you sound like you need lots of love and support at the moment. When one family member is challenged we all feel the pain for love that connects us in happiness also connects us in pain.
    Take care and remember that you are indeed very special and poppy is lucky to have you

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  2. Sarah – I seem to remember you were using some ice-lolly type of device when Poppy was teething – might that help ease pain now? All the best!
    it’s pain – not a drama;
    take care!

    Like

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