I haven’t made any art for months. Something is wrong when this happens. I’m poisoned by something in my life, or I’m starving for something I need. Just one day in the rain, free and flying with my heart open filled me with joy and new ideas. I’m not spending enough time in Narnia. Too much grief, too much time in the world. Not enough flying.
Coming home was painful. My house feels, not like a home, but like a trap. My life choices hurt, chafe, cut, bite into skin. Everything is difficult. There is so much I must do and it is all so difficult. On the train from Newcastle, in the tiny sewer-stinking toilet, the old scars on my wrist catch the light and I suddenly want a matching set on my other wrist. Grief catches in my throat. The first day home and working on urgent admin – phone calls, emails, enrolling in tafe classes, I’m three hours in before the sense of self loathing kicks in so strong it’s like a punch to the gut. It’s like coming home to find mental illness waiting for me. My life hurts.
So I take a step back from the edge. I spend time alone. I read. My cat comes and cuddles up to me for the first time in months and it feels like a blessing. I watch the rain. I go and buy big canvases from the art shop, hoping the inspiration wont leave, wont collapse, hoping the strength will stay long enough that I can paint. I move slowly, I’m silent, even in my mind, silent. Letting thoughts flow through me very slowly, very quietly. Waiting in the stillness for the pain and sadness to ease, for the joy to settle. For clarity and hope.
I’m working on a set of blog posts about sex which are important to me but very difficult to write. My blog post about it has reached a few thousand words so I’ve decided to break it up into parts. Some days I can think clearly to write and others I edit and rewrite endlessly. I’ve also been revamping the blog, adding new pages, changing the colour scheme. There’s more to be done but I’m happy with the progress so far. I’m also planning to upgrade the DI website which is painfully out of date. I was too busy to keep up with it last year but I’ve a little window now to get some more work done on it. My facepainting page on my wordpress blog is looking good too, although the rest of that site is mostly empty. It’s all a lot of work. Little bits at a time.
Today I went to Ikea and bought home this lovely teal folding chair – for the person being painted by me to sit on, and this wonderful blackboard/whiteboard stand. My previous folding chair was a three legged stool which turned out to be terrifyingly unstable when kids climbed onto or off of it so this one is a vast improvement. I am very exited about the board because I wanted a way to communicate with the public at fairs and other events of that nature. I was sad and frustrated to notice that many parents assumed there would be a cost and walked their kids past my gazebo… while other parents bought their kids in and asked the cost once I’d painted them… I know what it’s like to not have the money to splash about on luxuries and those kids are particularly the ones I want to make sure don’t miss out!! I also want to trial a new system for the waiting line – last time people were lined out in the hot sun and I was concerned about that. When they tried to snug under my shade instead, the order got mixed up and tempers flared when kids were painted out of order. I was thinking of borrowing an idea from the deli counter and getting kids to take a number. It would also be a good way of tracking how many kids I’ve painted that day. My lovely postcards have come in from Vistaprint and the beautiful banner too, so I’m feeling very professional and set up now! Just have to go and pin some postcards up in a few locations to start advertising. 
Yesterday I was at Bunnings and found this fantastic cooler bag with wheels and a collapsible handle! I’ve been looking for something like this for months to transport my kit in! It’s small, light, easy to pack, and waterproof which makes it easy to clean and stops paint spills from staining. I’m stoked!
It stores my entire kit easily including bottles of water for outdoor events. I’m really pleased with it! Love making progress with things like this – so much happier taking this out with me than the cardboard filing box I used to use! 🙂 Next stop – looking forward to taking some classes on one stroke techniques and improving my line work. Happy happy.
It was stunningly messy, rather time consuming, and painful as hell with all the bending down. I really liked the result though.
I decided to ignore the front wall of the cot. As part of the final display is going to be able light and shadows, the extra wall will just muddy the image. I like the starkness of standing directly in front of the empty cot. The limbs have warped as the bamboo was very fresh, lending a twisted Burtonesque feel to the piece.
Our latest project is to turn the pile of bamboo, and any other sticks or twigs we want to scrummage, into a bare sculpture, something like ‘sketching in 3-D’ with lots of raw lines. We have to recreate a life size piece of domestic furniture. I stripped a length of bamboo and got to work:
My furniture item was going to be a bed until the tutor said ‘life sized’, then I down graded it to a bassinet, until he said ‘reasonably large’, so I’m making a cot. It’s a standard size cot with one removable wall, just the frame so far:
When they’re finished in a couple of weeks, we’ll be setting them up in an empty theatre and creating a light show with them. I’m excited about it!
Sarah K Reece 