Mental Health Week Preparation

Hurrah! I’ve taken off to the Box Factory the artworks that have been eagerly waiting their turn for weeks. 🙂 As soon as it’s open to the public I’ll post the details here. I’ve also received my latest shipment of business cards in the mail!

This is a large print version which is easier for some of my friends to read, and has a blank reverse – I can punch a hole in them, thread with ribbon, and use them as price tags or gift cards. I’m really pleased with them! If you need business cards for yourself, I’d recommend Vista Print. If you’re patient and don’t pay for quick postage they cost very little. 🙂

I’ve done very little this weekend, which has been great. I was feeling pretty under the weather and the break has done me good. I have an interview with a photo shoot tomorrow for the  messenger, trying not to get too anxious about it! Thank goodness for antihistamines, or I would always have nervous hives in these official photos!

Improving the blog

Hullo hullo, those who you who come directly to the blog instead of getting the email feed will have noticed some changes! I’ve been working on some improvements, most especially how the archived blogs are presented. Now you can read all the blog titles for every post in a whole month, instead of having to click on each day to reveal the title. I hope this makes it a bit easier to find whatever it is that you’re interested in – poems, DID info, etc. As the blog is growing I expect I’ll also expand and specify my labels a bit more for the same reasons. New background and bigger font – hopefully makes it all a bit easier to read! I’d like to add a search function to help with navigating the site too, but unfortunately bloggers search box widget isn’t working at the moment. Later hopefully.

For those of you looking for information about DID, another blogger Holly Gray wrote about this topic from a personal perspective for over a year, and has just now decided to wrap her blog up for the moment. You can find her perspective on four factors that can lead to DID here.

Please feel welcome to contact me if there’s something you’re really hoping I’ll blog about. I keep a running sheet of ideas for posts and I can’t promise I’ll get to them fast but I’m very happy to hear from you about what you’re looking for or finding interesting or helpful. Please share any posts with people you think might get some benefit from them too. I’m keeping my ‘What’s On’ page updated, so check there if you’re looking for exhibitions, competitions or other events to be involved in. And I shortly plan to add a ‘To Buy’ page with art and shoes available for sale, and another about my Dissociative Disorder Working Group sharing what we are doing and how people can help out. 🙂

Feedback about all and any of these developments is very welcomed! 

Things to get involved in :)

Hullo all, well I have a pile of mail inviting me to various exciting events associated with Mental Health Week which is coming up very soon – Sunday Oct 9th to Saturday Oct 15th, with world Mental Health Day falling on Monday Oct 10th. Which I have just realised I have scheduled a dental appt on. Hmmm.

Anyway. You’ve been invited to a ‘Words Evening’ to announce the winners of the ‘Open Your Mind’ poetry competition and the book launch for ‘Mindfields’, an anthology collected from the competition over the past few years. 

There’s also two art exhibitions coming up by Big Circle Arts – which is run by the Mental Health Coalition of SA, aiming to bring awareness of mental health issues in the community through art. One is for established artists, and the other is for emerging artists – which I have a work in! Do consider coming along to the big night with me!

Mindshare is going to be launched shortly also, it’s a new blog for creativity and mental health. Follow the link to see a great little video about the project. I’ve put myself forward to be involved in the project, and apparently sometime soon I’ll be interviewed by someone from my local Messenger newspaper as part of a series of articles they are putting out to promote Mindshare and raise awareness about mental health. 🙂 They are currently looking for submissions for Mindshare – please consider sending something in! They are seeking short stories, poetry, photographs of artworks, photography as art, original musical recordings, information about mental health services, and people interested in becoming bloggers for the site!


And lastly for all you other artists out there who identify as living with a disability of some kind, the ebullient Caroline Ellison would love to hear from you! I spent a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon being interviewed by her over a scrumptious lunch on Wednesday, pontificating about the meaning of art and the frustrating limitations to the kinds of support offered people with disabilities. She’s Senior Lecturer for the Disability and Community Inclusion Faculty of Health Sciences at Flinders University, and is researching the role that art and creativity can play in the life of a person with a disability. So do please get in touch with her to be involved, her details are:
caroline.ellison@flinders.edu.au
(08) 8201 3422

Further details of all of these events and more are available on my What’s On page at the top of this blog. 🙂

Finished paper!

Oh man I am sooo tired! We finished and submitted our 3,000 word paper, Grounding as Management of Dissociative Experiences tonight and emailed it in. I was up til 2am working on it and Cary got up at 5am to continue, very short of sleep the last few nights! It would be awesome if it gets accepted for publication, but I’m pretty proud of our efforts even if it doesn’t. I’d have loved a few more days to polish and nit pick, but to pull it all together in such a short time frame is fantastic.

Frustratingly, I found out this afternoon that my next TAFE subject is being started a fortnight early – tonight! But I’m running too short of food, sleep and down time to be driving home safely after tacking a whole evening at TAFE onto my day. Very annoyed to be missing it, it’s Small Object Making (kind of sculpture in miniature). Being sensible at home with a bowl of soup and some painkillers instead.

Writing a paper!

Cary and I are still frantically working on our paper – due tomorrow. We had a last minute re think and decided to change the category and double the word count. I’ve just got home from MIFSA now, and that’s simply because a packet of gummi snakes from the vending machine can only keep me going for so long. So I’ve come home for my staple working-late dinner – tinned soup. We’ve got about 3,400 words, to be edited back to 3,000, and we’re still at that point where not all the sentences end, and random words such as “iatrogenic” are standing in for entire paragraphs. All good so far!

In other news, my car is running again, and the hot water service has been given a stern talking to and is limping along albeit leaking about 1/2 litre an hour… not ideal, but warm showers are back on the menu. 

Radio Adelaide Interview

So, yesterday I trundled down to Radio Adelaide to be interviewed by the fun and funky Nikki Marcel. The HCA arranged a number of these, to be edited and aired during Mental Health Week. The idea is to interview some folks like me with mental illnesses as part of working to reduce stigma in the community. So, I was quite excited and a bit nervous. Interviews make me quite a lot more anxious than writing, because I’m not the one asking the questions! Plus, the think-on-your-feet factor. Well, it went well! I took in a favourite song, and talked about why I chose it and what it means to me. Nikki had actually come here and read parts of my blog so she asked questions about various of my projects and pet passions. I sped right up like I do when I’m nervous or excited and talked a mile a minute. And even then, we still managed to turn a 7 minute interview into a 15 minute one. Whoops! Good fun for the editor to prune down, that one. That’s because answering questions about recovery from mental illness or the difficulty of managing invisible disabilities in a very very short amount of time is not something I’m good at! But I think I did a good job, hopefully they’ll tell me when it’s airing and I’ll let you know. 🙂

Actually, getting involved in community radio is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. So I took the opportunity to have a chat about that and have signed up for some training there next year. 😀 I think it could be a great opportunity to meet some new people, learn some exciting new skills, and continue to find fun and creative ways to get good messages about mental health out there. Because I have so much spare time on my hands…

In other developments, I was very politely asked if I have any other profile pictures for an event I’ll be in shortly. I’ve been using the one posted on my About Sarah page because it is a) recent b) close up c) has a nice plain background and d) just me in it and I’m actually all done up with nice hair etc. Why is it people get cameras out on the days I’m lazing about in my PJ’s? But, you can’t really see my eyes, and I was asked if I had any others. This is a persistent problem for me. Everyone’s eyes close up a bit when they are giving a genuine, happy, you-just-tickled-my-funnybone, pleased to be alive smile – as opposed to the kinds we give for photographs and in job interviews, where we flash teeth in a kind of grimace. Some of us however, have eyes that vanish entirely when we’re feeling happy, pop inside the head for a quick cup of tea and a scone. Honestly, if I ever won the lottery I probably wouldn’t be able to see at all for weeks! Well, actually I guess that might not just be me… But yes, in my case, you get eyes or teeth, but not both at the same time!

Isn’t it strange the kind of odd requests you have to try and be prepared for when you’re building a career out of nothing? When and how would someone like me, on my income, have a bunch of appropriate recent profile pictures? I don’t know, life is a strange and marvellous thing. So, I went through the last few years photos looking for anything remotely suitable, and sent out a couple that might be. And, because I was feeling tickled by the query, then I sent in this one from New Years Eve a couple of years back:

No news yet on which picture they’ll use. 🙂 You can see my eyes though! (and, this was taken at the end of the night – my facepaint held up really well! Black lippy instead of paint next time though)

3am adventures…

Hmmm. So it appears the universe didn’t get my memo about the planned weekend off to relax… at 3am this morning I was on the phone to the emergency plumber as our hot water system was gushing litres of hot water down the drain and steam was pouring off the unit. The really depressing thing is that a faint noise had been bothering me for hours, which turned out to have been the sound of water gurgling down our outside drain. Wish I’d investigated that sooner! Thought it was my computer humming (one of the fans is pretty noisy). So, it turns out that the whole system is apparently probably dead. If we’re really lucky, perhaps just some valves and suchlike. But probably the whole sheebang. I wonder if it’s responsible for our inexplicably increasing gas bills?

So, I was trundling round the property in the dark in my dressing gown, getting snagged on rose bushes and strange spiky plants the previous owner for some incomprehensible reason of his own had decided to plant all around the hot water system and the electricity meter box. Maybe he really disliked the meter man? My little torch running low on batteries, and the helpful plumber – who didn’t even sound sleepy, giving me instructions on how to shut down the system and close off our water. There are various taps attached to the heater and none of them are moving a micron for me. In the end I pulled the front off the whole unit and turned it down so low it turned off. We are now without hot water until we get a plumber out here – going to making calls first thing on Monday.

And my car isn’t drivable until the heating hoses have been replaced and the alternator fixed. The van is even more expensive, the head needs to be taken off and seals replaced and piston checked for corrosion and possibly replaced.

Weeks like this really make you rethink career decisions like “I’m going to be an artist”!

So, what have I done to manage the situation so far? I have walked to our nearest shops with my trolley and bought food for the week, and hauled it all uphill back home. My cunning plan is that whatever other money I spend repairing things, we have stuff to eat, cat food, and plenty of toilet paper. Much else in life can be temporarily lived without – even hot showers, but it helps to be stocked up on the essentials! Otherwise by day four, you and the pets start eyeing each other in a calculating kind of way…

General newsy stuff

Argh! That last post came in after midnight meaning I technically missed yesterday. I protest that it can’t be a new day yet as I haven’t had any sleep. It shouldn’t clock over until after sleep has happened. So have another post to make up for it. In my defence – today was manically busy. Back to back appointments all the way through to my last TAFE class for the term tonight, didn’t get back home til 9.15pm – and I finished everything! Hurrah! And I didn’t think to take my camera and had to hand it all in on the spot so I can’t show you until after I collect it after assessment. 😦 But it was awesome. I aced the really scary bit, which was engraving my rose petal pendant without chickening out for fear of ruining it. Whee! And then I discovered that we had to submit it on a chain/string/suspension of some kind. Whoops. How did I miss that? I thought we just had to decide on our preferred method and journal about it. Fortunately I was pretty organised last night and threw some ribbon and various colours of cotton thread into my bag along with a bunch of different coloured freshwater pearls (yes, cause I’m the kind of person who always has a bag of multicoloured freshwater pearls lying around just in case). So I made up something on the spot and then added it to my journal to look like I’d put loads of thought into this and deeply planned the final result. In true student style. 😀


So, I hung the pendant on green satin ribbon and threaded pale green cotton stitching through it, with lovely pearls of different sizes and colours tied in along the ribbon. And one large white one dangling over the pendant itself. The poem line I finally chose was I drink the night. Which has multiple layers of meaning to it referring both to the rose and myself the wearer. 🙂


I got a lovely phone call from the Big Circle Arts people this morning asking if I minded if they used one of my artworks on their invitations to the exhibitions at Mental Health Week this year. Of course I said yes! On the proviso that they send me one. Which they will, I’ll post it on here when it arrives. How gratifying! (smug mode engaged)

And, the Persian poetry last night was awesome! Beautiful Persian poets reading melancholy, angry, serene or erotic poems. So different from my own work, and so inspiring. A bunch of us went out for dinner afterwards and ate at a lovely Lebanese restaurant on Hindley Street. Great night out, really enjoyed myself.


And a final reminder – Friday night is our free Forum at MIFSA – Introducing DID. Pass it on. 🙂
Then I’m going to come home and pass out. 

Good things in inboxes

Eeeeee! Finally my long awaited 6th and 7th books of Garth Nix 7 part Keys to the Kingdom series have arrived! I’ve nearly gnawed my own arms off in anticipation, I was hoping they’d be here last week. Now to pace myself and not read them both through on the bus today.

And I’ve received an email saying that my photo series Ink not Blood has been accepted for display at Kill the Silence, the event being held in October. I’ll also be reading poetry during the evening – see my What’s On page for details.

And this evening I’m going to Words @ the Wall, a poetry event held in the State Library on North Terrace. Tonight will feature Persian poetry, so if you’re wandering the city at 5.30 feeling curious about culturally diverse poetry – please join us, entry is free. 🙂 All the details are here. Now back to my Tafe homework…

Cleo and Tiger make themselves at home

Both gorgeous foster cats have settled in happily since arriving a little over two weeks ago. How the time flies! They’ve been getting a touch of hay fever with the spring weather as the garden goes into bloom. My backyard is awash with blossom and both cats spend a lot of time toasting themselves in the sunny spots by the doors, right where the breeze brings in all the pollen…

I’m hoping down the track to create a cat shelter for them in the backyard so they don’t need to be confined to the house. They follow the sunlight about like devotees, shifting from place to place as the sun moves. They are both such good natured cats, getting quite bouncy in that funny way animals do when it’s spring, dashing randomly about the house. I’ve a little cat toy which is a fluffy heart on a string and I can keep them amused for hours with it. I’ve snapped off some pictures in a quieter moment, here’s Cleo nesting on a blanket on the couch. She has a funny way of sleeping where she lies her head right down, most unusual in a cat:

She’s settled in well, no more frantic doing laps! She loves a cuddle, preferably right up close to your face where she can gaze into your eyes. She still likes high places and can often be found asleep on top of my wardrobe or a bookshelf somewhere.

Here’s Tiger, curled up happily on his favourite green rug:

He’s a big smoochy cat, not so keen on being picked up but he does like to lay across your lap or sleep at the foot of the bed. He’s always up for a chin scratch and is still a kitten at heart, playing with bits of string or balls of scrunched up paper or the dreaded green bug cat toy – that still has the power to make him run to the other end of the house! 

TheMHS is over for 2011

And it was amazing! Cary and I did our talk this morning, Managing Dissociation. They accepted our abstract but carved our time allotment from the 1hr 20 min workshop to a 20 minute presentation. So we were sadly forced to drop most of the theoretical framework and deeper issues, and focus really on two things – what dissociation is, and some symptom management strategies, using as examples some Grounding Techniques from our own personal Grounding Kits – that’s mine in the photo above. With a good dollop of encouragement that these things can be understood and recovered from thrown in! This was in contrast to a few of the optimistic speakers I listened to whose approach to an impending time limit was to speak faster. 🙂

It was a mixed audience, which is always tricky. About half put their hands up as being familiar with/working in the field of dissociation. We often find that many of those individuals will be well read with a sophisticated knowledge of the topic. And the other half were entirely new to the field. So the task was to try and engage both groups. I always worry that I’m oversimplifying complex issues and have to stop myself adding in far too much and overloading the audience. We got good feedback so I don’t think anyone was bored. 🙂 I gave out business cards to all and sundry, which was very exciting and terribly organised. In fact I was so excited about handing them out I’m pretty sure I foisted them on a few people who didn’t really want them. 😛 We continued with our approach of making connections with people in other states to build networks and resources and pass on information.

I actually managed to bring that grounding kit in with me and not leave it on the bus, which for someone as dissociative as I can be, was a pretty amazing feat. And then, I even remembered to collect it from the cloak room when the conference finished. Awesome! I very nearly tied the box to my wrist with ribbon to prevent me leaving it somewhere! I am very bad with leaving things on buses and zoning out and missing my stops too. I quite liked the irony that we were giving a talk about dissociation using our grounding kits, which is a situation that tends to make me pretty dissociative… handy having the kit right there! Cary had a can of soft drink in hers and drank it once we were done. I have to bring something more exciting than my lemon next time, I was terribly jealous! Maybe salt and vinegar chips?

I have now passed through the pseudo mania that hits me following a talk, and am deep in the sluggish marshes of complete exhaustion and thank-god-its-friday. I’m starting to learn what I need to do to be able to cope with the intense stress I feel around public speaking and this level of exposure, which is pretty exciting and I’m looking forward to doing more talks. I must say, today the post-talk debrief was particularly excellent, a good chat with an old friend and a celebratory french macaroon! I don’t think it gets any better than that. 🙂

Next year, it’ll be in Queensland in August, and the topic will be Recovering Citizenship… I just have to find sponsorship to get there! Mmmm sunny Cairns!

auto spell fails again!

Editing a couple of poems for Open Your Mind – I nearly send this in when I discover the auto spell function has somewhat altered the wrap up of my first stanza…

I see you leaving
Hour by hour
I see the pain in you
an agony that does not endocrinologist
!!! 🙂

Cleo & Tiger settle in

Both cats are doing well. They have such different personalities, but get along well. Cleo has a fondness for high places, while Tiger couldn’t care less. He’s happiest lounging about on the rugs, dozing on beds, or lazing about on the armchairs. Cleo perches on top of bookcases, nestles on the shelves in the kitchen with the saucepans, watches the world from the wardrobe, the laundry cupboard, and the tv cabinet. Here they both are, demonstrating their very different sleeping preferences:

Tiger’s scabs and scratches are healing up well and he’s regrowing fur over the patches that were missing. He’s incredibly confident and nothing much fazes him at all. He’s very cuddly and loves to lay on your lap while you read or watch tv. He sleeps on my bed at night by my feet, very patient and settled. He really does not at all like the cat scratching post I’ve bought. He was clawing one armchair and one rug in particular, but I’ve rolled up an old rubbish rug and encouraged him to use that instead and I’m really surprised at how quickly he’s taken it up! He really loves it, he stands on it, reaches out to his full length and claws it with great enthusiasm.

He also gets into restless moods, where he plays coy and rolls onto his bowl, mewing and pretending to  be cute. Don’t be fooled! It means he wants to play fight and if you tickle his tummy he’ll chomp your arm. I throw him a little green bug that vibrates when you pull a string, he really hates it and attacks it with a vengeance then runs away and dashes down the other end of the house. He also likes to stalk his rug, he sneaks up on it from behind an armchair then bites and claws it. Then, feeling most pleased with himself, he takes himself off to the laundry for a snack. Here he is on his rolled up green rug:

Cleo has been more nervous being moved to a new house. She can’t sit still when she’s anxious, she moves in circles instead. So the other night, I was blogging away at my computer and she wanted a cuddle. But she was feeling too anxious to stay on my lap. So she lapped me for an hour instead. She’d jump up onto the computer desk, rub her face against mine, stomp all over my keyboard, on one occasion spill my drink, and then straight off the other side of the desk. Only to circle around behind me and do it again! She was making good time too, I think the whole circle took about 10 seconds to complete and she kept it up for the hour! I tried cuddling her but she’d jump straight off. I tried sitting with her on the couch but she’d just do a new circle of the couch instead. She was purring earnestly the whole time!

She’s feeling more at home now though, yesterday she circled for about 20 minutes before she could settle down onto my lap where she stayed for the rest of the night. She also sleeps on my bed, but she likes to be either up by my face, or sometimes underneath it, where you can hear her washing herself and purring, like a kind of reverse beneath-the-bed-monster. She’s more restless than Tiger though and hops up all night long for drinks, snacks, toilet stops, and presumably, just to check that the lounge room furniture hasn’t gone anywhere. 🙂 She’s also allergic to me reading in bed and gives sleeping on any open book a really good shot!

Here she is licking her lips after dinner tonight:

They’re both such sweet cats. I hope we can find good homes for them. I’ve had to rethink the litter tray with both cats indoors, it’s just not big enough for two, and the kitty litter is very expensive! So I’ve borrowed an idea from another cat owner, and I’ve got a big low sided plastic box and put half a bag of potting mix in it. This should accommodate them both a lot better, and can be put straight out in the garden compost so they’re actually contributing to my garden and I’m putting one less thing in my bin which always makes me happy. The slight downside is that the potting mix does cling to their feet a little more so it gets walked around the laundry. But I can live with that, they were kicking the litter all over the laundry anyway. I hope that’s got that problem solved. 🙂

TheMHS and an upcoming Forum

Whoo hoo! I had a ball at TheMHS today. I think I like conferences. It started with breakfast at Higher Ground this morning, with lots of other carers and consumers about, who I really enjoyed meeting. Then various thought provoking talks happened, with regular breaks to ply us with delicious food, and an awesome comedic interlude by peer worker Kylie Harrison! (you can see some of her story here) It’s really fun to get out of my own little box for awhile a get to meet all these other people, all passionate about making mental health services better. Tomorrow night I’ll be there for the launch of the Art Exhibition, which I’m really looking forward to. I wish I’d been sponsored to go to the talks during the next 2 days though! So much to be missing out on. I’m really hoping that this time I wont be so buzzed after my Friday talk that I can’t take anything else in. It’s not too long or too personal so I have my finger’s crossed a bit that I’ll be able to sit in on some of the rest of the talks that day and get the most out of my day’s registration. 🙂

And in other news, myself and my colleague Cary will be giving a free talk on Friday, September 23rd, Introducing Dissociative Identity Disorder. There’s more information under the What’s On tab at the top of this page. 🙂 For those who came along to this talk last year, the content will be the same. We were asked to hold it again outside of 9-5 work hours so that people could invite working spouses or school age children along. So we are!

First shipment of business cards

They finally arrived! The postie delivered them to a neighbour a couple of doors down and he kindly passed them on this evening. The colour isn’t quite what I was expecting. As you can see from this online version, it’s supposed to be a fairly bright strong blue with a slight lean towards teal. The cards I’ve received are a very dark navy/purple instead.

One possibility is that this is the result of the matt finish. I ordered some fridge magnets too which have printed much closer to the true colour:

They have a glossy finish instead so perhaps that’s the key. So next time I’ll consider a glossy finish or a paler background colour keeping this effect in mind. I also think I’ll bump up my font sizes. I can read it okay but I have friends who wouldn’t be able to, at least not without glasses or a magnifier! Things we learn. 🙂 All in all, I’m pretty happy. And they’re here in time for Friday – I’m always asked for cards after a presentation and now I’ll have some to hand out! – you watch I bet now nobody will ask. 🙂 I’m celebrating with black jelly beans.

Sing out if you’d like a card or magnet the next time we meet, or I can pop one in the post for you. 

Tiger & Cleo

This morning two new foster cats arrived. This is Tiger:

He’s aptly named, a huge magnificent cat with tremendous presence. He’s about 18mths, and unfortunately has FIV –Feline Immunodeficiency Virus – the cat version of HIV. This can’t be passed on to people or any other animal except other cats, usually through a bite. So, he’s now an indoor only cat so he wont infect any other cats. Cleo has been vaccinated so she’s protected. At this stage his health is good. He’s a bit sneezy which isn’t much to worry about. Early warning signs of sickness are loss of appetite and weight loss, and there’s certainly no problems there! He weighs at least 6kgs by my reckoning, he’s a huge head, big feet, no neck at all, and a solid barrel of a body. And he eats with great gusto! We may need to feed Cleo separately…

Today he polished off her lunch and his. His coat is in excellent condition, soft, thick and shiny. He’s fastidiously clean and have given himself about 4 baths so far today. His markings are gorgeous, the black spots remind me of an ocelot, well that and his size! His paws are all black and his nose is a dusty pink.

He’s obviously been in at least one major scrap, his ears are ragged and his neck is covered in scabs and missing bits of fur.

He has loads of personality. He wasn’t at all intimidated being in a new house. He’s tried lying on all the furniture, sunned himself on all the warm spots on the rugs, admired some box opening and furniture moving, and demanded many cuddles.

Here he is with Cleo, look at the size difference! I’d bet he was the only kitten in the litter. (and yes, that’s our burgeoning Pratchett collection on the shelf there – got to love Book Depository) And now to Cleo, she’s about 4 years old, slender and on the petite side. She’s a gorgeous tuxedo cat with no health issues.

She’s far more timid and antsy. She’s spent a lot of time hiding behind the couch, behind the TV cabinet, under the dresser, behind the washing machine… I’m getting used to the hiding places now which makes life a bit easier. It’s very nerve wracking when a new cat disappears for hours. Here she is looking out the living room window. 🙂

Tiger doesn’t talk at all but Cleo does if she’s confused or upset. She has a really unusual trait in a cat – when she’s very anxious or excited she holds her tail straight up and shakes it, a bit like a rattlesnake!

Her white markings are uneven, she has a white curl over her right shoulder, like she’s thrown over the tail of her scarf. 🙂 She’s also very affectionate, she likes to kiss your face and ‘pumps’ with her feet.

They’re both asleep on the floor of the living room rug at the moment, so the house is quite and contented once again. I’m neurotic about keeping the doors shut and have to be careful not to fall over new furry bodies sleeping in the hallway.

We did get some more information about Abbie after all. She was suffering from kidney failure, likely caused by extensive neglect and malnourishment. It doesn’t show up on blood tests, so that’s why no one knew what was going on. So, there was nothing else we could have done, kidney disease is irreversible in cats. She was loved and safe and kept as comfortable as possible. As will Tiger and Cleo be until we can find them new permanent owners. 🙂

RIP Abbie

I’m sorry to have to tell you that Abbie passed away this evening. I’d arranged with Flick to take her there for the night so she could go down to the vet first thing tomorrow, and Flick had a vet nurse friend coming around to check on her this evening, but Abbie didn’t last that long. Here’s the last photo I took before packing her up to go to Flicks’ home:

Abbie had a huge seizure in the car on the way over. Flick and I sat with her, keeping her warm and talking gently to her and stroking her for the next 2 1/2 hours until she stopped breathing. We’re still very confused about what went so wrong for her. She was a lovely little cat and deserved so much better. But she was warm and clean and very very much loved.

Here are a couple of photos from the days when she wasn’t so ill:

What an absolutely precious little cat.

Then I’ve come home, finally had some dinner myself, cried my eyes out, and watched the Bondi Vet episode I’d taped. Watching Dr Chris Brown nurse a tiny mouse through a huge operation is very comforting after today. For all the terrible people who neglect, starve, abuse and abandon animals, there are so many caring people who give their hearts to every little ragamuffin needing love that comes their way. I’ve told Flick I still want to help out fostering cats. I’ll keep you posted on any developments. 

Abbie is very sick

Abbie is just not improving. Flick and I are making plans to get her to the vet first thing tomorrow if we can find someone to take her. I think she needs to be back on a drip. I’ve been trying to get some water into her today using an eye dropper, but she barely swallows anything, it just bubbles out her nose. I’ve never seen a cat this ill that wasn’t dying, every other starved stray I’ve taken in eats with enthusiasm. I’m very worried about her!

(Flick is the wonderful woman who runs this network of carers I’ve just joined, taking in strays and abused and unwanted cats and nursing them back to health to adopt them out. Her website is here. Abbie is my first foster cat.)

Here she is last night after her bath, all clean and ready for bed:

She likes sleeping in a cardboard box of skirts I keep under my bed, it must feel dark and safe there.

This morning I woke up to Abbie looking like this:

She’s also incontinent, so this morning all the bedding had to go into the washing machine and she was in such a bad state she needed a proper bath not a sponge down.

She hates water but is so lethargic she just lay down in the sink and wailed softly. 😦 I had to soap her up with pet soap to properly clean her fur, her lovely white feet were all stained. Here she is after her bath, I was able to leave most of her back dry, just her tummy, feet, tail and face needed a good clean.

I sat with her in her favourite sunny spot by the back door and dried her off with the hair dryer. She hated all of it but is too tired to fight. It takes about an hour from start to finish to clean and dry her, and at the moment she needs this twice day. Here she is at last, clean and dry and resting:

Abbie’s having a tough time

Abbie had a rough night last night. She’s refusing to eat again, and if she is drinking, I’m not catching her in the act. 😦

Her cold is still pretty bad as you can see. We’ve also had two episodes of incontinence, once on my bed, so I’ve been doing a fair amount of cleaning and extra laundry! As a result, she’s needed sponge baths, which she’s not very happy about. And considering that it’s still pretty chilly at night and she has this cold, she’s then needed to be dried off with the hairdryer on low, which she was a bit alarmed about. Here she is almost dry next to the hairdryer – fortunately mine is pretty quiet, ignoring her very nice quality kitten food and bowl of fresh water.
I tried the warmed roast chicken too but no success yet. Even if I put a tiny bit directly in her mouth she spits it out. No luck with the tuna she ate last time either. 😦 
She’s putting up with two gentle face washes a day, the eyes she seems to appreciate having cleaned, she even leans into a warm damp tissue and helps. But her nose she hates me anywhere near so I have to be quick and just dab at the sides. Because she’s breathing through her mouth she’s drooling, so her chin and front paws get a wipe too.
I’m deeply frustrated that the vet said she was eating happily for them! I’ve got the exact food they fed her, I’ve tried putting the food in a couple of different locations in case that was a problem, and her water is cleaned out and freshened several times a day as I know some cats can be fussy about that. I’m hoping her third eyelid being visible is a result of the eyes weeping rather than a sign of pain. She’s currently curled up in a box of skirts I keep under my bed, probably hoping to avoid any more baths. If I don’t see her drinking by tomorrow I’ll try using an eye dropper to get some more fluids into her. Hopefully this horrible cold runs its course and as she feels better she will be more interested in food. It’s so upsetting to see her so sick and miserable. She’s still very sweet and affectionate and purrs away if you scratch her ears or give her a pat. 

Abbie is not a happy cat yet

I’ve just brought Abbie home today and she is very miserable with a cold. The vet is hopeful that if I can keep food and water in her, she’ll recover quickly and build up her strength. She is very phlemy and unhappy right now, hopefully we can stop it turning bacterial.

Poor Abbie, new shaved areas she’ll have to grow out. At least its not cold anymore.

She’s mouth breathing as her nose and throat are all blocked up. I’ve been told I can wash her face only twice a day else her skin will likely become irritated.

Poor little darling. We have some extra top notch kitten food, which she’s been eating and keeping down at the vets so hopefully we can replicate that. She’s curled up on my bed in a patch of sunshine dozing at the moment. Still gives a lovely lovely purr when you stroke her or scratch her ears. Such a sweet cat!

Abbie’s coming home :)

The news is good! Abbie’s blood tests were fine and she’s eating and drinking – and keeping it all down now, which is the really important bit! The current theory is that she’s just fragile as she’s in such poor condition. Dehydration demolishes tiny underweight cats pretty quickly. So, a night on a drip and some super quality kitten food later, she’s apparently much brighter. I’ll be off to collect her tomorrow morning, and hopefully we’ll get it right this time! Poor little darling, she wasn’t very happy about being left at the vet – any more than I was to leave her there! 😦 I’ve been recommended to try warmed roast chicken if I’ve having trouble coaxing her to eat again, so I’ll buy some on the way to the vet tomorrow, so I’ve got it in the fridge for this weekend should she need it. Fingers and toes crossed, come on Abbie, you can do it!

Abbie’s at the vet

Here’s a lovely photo of Abbie from this morning, curled up like a little possum on my bed.

But, it’s just me and the goldfish again tonight. 😦

(yeah yeah, goldfish don’t photograph well)
The vet is hanging onto Abbie for tonight at least. She’s badly dehydrated, not even keeping water down at the moment. So, it’s a drip and some tests for her. Horrible feeling coming home from a vet without your critter. I hope she’s going to be okay!

Feeling very down. Spent some time sitting in the garden today admiring all the gorgeous flowers.

Update on Abbie

How is Abbie settling in? She is a darling little cat, extremely affectionate. She seems to have no fear of strangers at all and will happily snuggle up with a new person. She is very timid however. Vehicles driving past the house seem particularly to worry her, and ceiling fans to upset her also. The first day she spent about 5 hours hiding behind the couch. The second only perhaps 2 hours. At the moment she’s asleep on my bed, most content. She’s discovered the joys of sitting in the warm patch of sunlight on the kitchen floor.

She’s thoroughly explored every bit of the house, dashing back to check I’m still here regularly.

At night she sleeps on my bed, staying there all night even though I tend to toss and turn a fair bit. She has a quiet little motor but purrs most contentedly. She doesn’t mind being picked up and will stay on your lap, staring adoringly up into your face. If she wants cuddles she follows you around hopefully but doesn’t ‘talk’ much.

Her low weight is worrying me however, she is very thin and having tummy troubles.

 The poor darling has no fat on her at all, her bones along the back and pelvis are very prominent to the touch. I’m having trouble finding food to coax her with. She is not at all interested in the dry cat food. The wet she will nibble but then vomits. So far other treats and tid bits she’s entirely ignored.

I hope perhaps she’s just adjusting to a new brand of food perhaps? If it continues I shall have to consult a vet. She seems happy enough and her coat is in lovely condition which is good. A part white cat for a girl with gothy proclivities is somewhat of a nuisance! She’s moulting in this lovely spring weather and I’ve been picking white cat fur from my clothes and out my paintings. 🙂

The bip on her nose is healing fine and her tummy is looking excellent with no sign of infection or pain. She is just the sweetest, gentlest little critter. Already toilet trained too! Just have to discourage the sharpening of the claws on my rug. 🙂

Introducing Abbie

Abbie has arrived at last! I went to pick her up, so decided I did rather urgently need a cat carrier. I was able to get one from Cheap as Chips for only $15, which as long as I don’t drive too much shouldn’t overstress my budget. 🙂 And cat toys! Being a young cat she’ll probably love to play with them.

So, here she is, very sweet and very timid:

But the prettiest little thing! Long white socks on all her feet, white tummy and white face mask. A lovely black striped possum tail, silver and black markings on her back, and lovely copper touches around her ears.

She’s painfully thin and was very excited about dinner. Shivering with nervous energy she’s thoroughly explored the house from top to bottom – the rooms I’ll allow her in. Ever minute or two she comes back to me to wrap herself purring around my legs, then disappears to explore somewhere else. I’d forgotten how much cats like hidey holes! She has found the gap under the computer desk, the space beneath the couch, under the dining room dresser, behind the microwave, behind the washing machine, and, well, you get the picture!

And it wasn’t long before I heard a crash from the bathroom…

She’d knocked over my make up box. Then she disappeared for 20 minutes, generating an increasingly frantic search on my part as I envisioned her somehow escaping through a corner of window screen I’d not noticed before was damaged. Finally found her behind the couch. Oh, the joys of parenthood!

She’s adorable, lively, affectionate and in need of lots of love. Can’t wait until she has a little more fat over those bones and the tummy stitches come out.

New plan

I’ve hit the wall and had to re schedule my week. I’ve not been sleeping well for a while and I badly need to catch a few more hours. The caring role is tough and draining at the moment, more than I was expecting. Coping with a new treatment is always rocky I guess. Heard some terrible stories too from other mental health advocates yesterday, and it’s all too much. I spent most of yesterday bursting into tears at random times, and by last night I was shattered. Cried on my sister’s shoulder for a bit, and then on a nice lady from the Suicide Call Back Service. They provide support for people at risk of suicide, as well as carers of someone at risk of suicide. Then I took a sleep inducing antihistamine and knocked off. My glands are up, my asthma is giving me trouble, the fibro symptoms are not good, and my dissociation level is climbing. Time to stop!

So, I’m cancelling TAFE tonight and the Salisbury Writers Festival Awards tomorrow night. 😦 I’ve been told I’ve received a Highly Commended for one of the Haiga I submitted. I’ll have to ask them to post it instead. How terribly disappointing! I’m going to trek in for my Group today and concentrate on getting to the one tomorrow as well. I’m not going to finish my kite in time for the cut off date. Sometime today or tomorrow I’ll photograph the other four works and send off my submission. The rest of the time I’ll hopefully catch up on sleep, read, paint a little, and rest up until I’m feeling less fragile.

And sometimes I’m asked why I consider myself to be an artist with a disability.

On a different note – I’m declaring that it is Hug Your Pet week. Another two people I know have had their beloved pets die recently too. If you’ve still got one, give it a hug. If you don’t – I know how you feel. Hugs for you.