The kite is complete

This post is the last of eight, showing this artwork develop from start to finish. See the first parts:
1. Mental Health Week Exhibition
2. Progress…
3. Painting painting
4. The kite progresses…
5. Theatre and kites
6. Wood carving
7. Finishing the kite and an Award!

At last, she is all done and ready to go. The really good news is that Big Circle Arts extended their deadline until this Friday – so she’s going to make it in! This also means I can get down to the TAFE homework I’m supposed to be doing. 🙂

The finishing was a little tricky and time consuming – which is usually the case. It’s not the most exciting part of making art but it’s important to do a good job or you let the whole piece down. I cut off the sharp ends of protruding screws with my trusty little Dremel (I love this tool!), then dabbed them with a little hot glue to remove any chance of scratching a wall when the kite is hung for display.

I also added a piece of wood to the shorter kite arm to balance the work so that it will hang straight from the centre. I added the wire to hang it from and also strung an additional line of wire across the top edge of the kite and sewed the kite to it to give it strength and prevent it folding over. This was fiddly but I’m happy with the end result.

And here she is at last, a bit bruised and tattered, but beautiful nonetheless:

As you can see I decided the right wing needed a few holes and little embroidery also for balance. And here is a close of up of her face, all nestled in hair now:

So now I can rest easy. What a huge project this has been! I conceived of the idea, planned all the details and purchased all the supplies more than a year ago and have since carried the folded partly painted fabric and the bag of materials and backup work around with me through all kinds of upheaval and two house moves. It is most satisfying to have her finished at last and ready to go on display. May there be many, many more to come!

Surfacing from dissociation

In Bridges last week we shared the incredible experience of surfacing from chronic sensory dissociation. Sometimes people experience short episodes of dissociation, lasting hours to days. Some of us experience chronic dissociation that can last for years, sometimes punctuated by little episodes of reconnecting. When this happens, it is a very precious experience and important to make time to treasure. I’ve experienced chronic dissociation where for months my sight has been dim, colours seem dark and dull to me, my hearing is poor, my taste and smell are dulled, and my skin doesn’t perceive touch clearly. Everything is dulled, far away, darkened. It feels like being a zombie, alive but dead.

Coming back to life, even if it’s only brief, is glorious. To taste, smell, or feel things clearly, sharply, is intense. Being numbed by dissociation can be like walking about muffled in a huge overcoat. Taking this off and feeling the breeze on your skin, the sunlight, the smell of gum trees or grass, is an intense and sensual experience. Chronic dissociation can leave you raw, like feet kept in shoes all winter long, they are tender when you first walk barefoot in the spring. If you experience chronic dissociation, treasure any moments it subsides. Take time to touch life, to breathe it in, to remind yourself what it feels like to be alive. These are the memories that keep us going when our world goes dark again. This is what we are fighting for.

After the weeks made dim
By fear and stress,
incessant storms,
bloody foam
on the black water

A day like today
is so strange and welcome
To wake, and find the devils gone
No shades at my bed – misery,
loneliness, hopelessness, and bleak 
despair
All mysteriously called away
And instead the day is mine, to fill with my own things
Bliss.

The anxiety and the wrenching pain
Drive me before them,
bound and bruised,
Resentful and unable to escape
Burning with black dreams
Enslaved to brutal masters
On whom I wish evil ends.

To be free of them – is to fly!
I enjoy everything, the sunlight through the windows
Bare feet on carpet, the colour of my dress,
Smell of my skin
My mind is clear, clean as snow melt
My fingers are alive; I perceive and create
I soak it all up
To get me through
When the haunting starts again.

Finishing the kite and an Award!

This post is the seventh of eight, showing this artwork develop from start to finish. See the first parts:
1. Mental Health Week Exhibition
2. Progress…
3. Painting painting
4. The kite progresses…
5. Theatre and kites
6. Wood carving

My kite is nearly done now. I’ve finished the butterfly body and now I’m stitching in the hair. Here she is propped up on a pot of paint so I can reach underneath to stitch.

And here you can see I’ve finished half of the hair. Doesn’t she look so much more feminine now? 🙂 I brought the yarn with all the other supplies before I started any painting, so the colours match well.

And lastly, something nice came in the post, my certificate for one of my haiga, that received a highly commended in the Salisbury Writer’s Festival competition. I’m pretty pleased about this considering it was my first haiku and my first haiga:

And here is the haiga:

See the finished kite here!

RIP Abbie

I’m sorry to have to tell you that Abbie passed away this evening. I’d arranged with Flick to take her there for the night so she could go down to the vet first thing tomorrow, and Flick had a vet nurse friend coming around to check on her this evening, but Abbie didn’t last that long. Here’s the last photo I took before packing her up to go to Flicks’ home:

Abbie had a huge seizure in the car on the way over. Flick and I sat with her, keeping her warm and talking gently to her and stroking her for the next 2 1/2 hours until she stopped breathing. We’re still very confused about what went so wrong for her. She was a lovely little cat and deserved so much better. But she was warm and clean and very very much loved.

Here are a couple of photos from the days when she wasn’t so ill:

What an absolutely precious little cat.

Then I’ve come home, finally had some dinner myself, cried my eyes out, and watched the Bondi Vet episode I’d taped. Watching Dr Chris Brown nurse a tiny mouse through a huge operation is very comforting after today. For all the terrible people who neglect, starve, abuse and abandon animals, there are so many caring people who give their hearts to every little ragamuffin needing love that comes their way. I’ve told Flick I still want to help out fostering cats. I’ll keep you posted on any developments. 

Abbie is very sick

Abbie is just not improving. Flick and I are making plans to get her to the vet first thing tomorrow if we can find someone to take her. I think she needs to be back on a drip. I’ve been trying to get some water into her today using an eye dropper, but she barely swallows anything, it just bubbles out her nose. I’ve never seen a cat this ill that wasn’t dying, every other starved stray I’ve taken in eats with enthusiasm. I’m very worried about her!

(Flick is the wonderful woman who runs this network of carers I’ve just joined, taking in strays and abused and unwanted cats and nursing them back to health to adopt them out. Her website is here. Abbie is my first foster cat.)

Here she is last night after her bath, all clean and ready for bed:

She likes sleeping in a cardboard box of skirts I keep under my bed, it must feel dark and safe there.

This morning I woke up to Abbie looking like this:

She’s also incontinent, so this morning all the bedding had to go into the washing machine and she was in such a bad state she needed a proper bath not a sponge down.

She hates water but is so lethargic she just lay down in the sink and wailed softly. 😦 I had to soap her up with pet soap to properly clean her fur, her lovely white feet were all stained. Here she is after her bath, I was able to leave most of her back dry, just her tummy, feet, tail and face needed a good clean.

I sat with her in her favourite sunny spot by the back door and dried her off with the hair dryer. She hated all of it but is too tired to fight. It takes about an hour from start to finish to clean and dry her, and at the moment she needs this twice day. Here she is at last, clean and dry and resting:

Wood carving

This post is the sixth of eight, showing this artwork develop from start to finish. See the first parts:
1. Mental Health Week Exhibition
2. Progress…
3. Painting painting
4. The kite progresses…
5. Theatre and kites

I like it just as much as I thought I would! Here’s my heart kite handle, being shaped by further sanding. I used the coarse then fine sander on the Dremel, then finished with extra fine grain sand paper by hand.

Finely sanded wood has the most lovely feel, very soft to the touch. Most tactile, I just want to hold it and turn it over and over in my hands. I finished it by giving it a light polish with a beeswax product. Doesn’t it bring out that gorgeous golden colour!

And then attached it to the kite with double sided red satin ribbon, the other end of the ‘string’ is coming from her chest, where her heart would be.

And this, ladles and gentlespoons, is why we are not supposed to use even tiny little power tools in the house:

The mess!

See the next step here.

Abbie’s having a tough time

Abbie had a rough night last night. She’s refusing to eat again, and if she is drinking, I’m not catching her in the act. 😦

Her cold is still pretty bad as you can see. We’ve also had two episodes of incontinence, once on my bed, so I’ve been doing a fair amount of cleaning and extra laundry! As a result, she’s needed sponge baths, which she’s not very happy about. And considering that it’s still pretty chilly at night and she has this cold, she’s then needed to be dried off with the hairdryer on low, which she was a bit alarmed about. Here she is almost dry next to the hairdryer – fortunately mine is pretty quiet, ignoring her very nice quality kitten food and bowl of fresh water.
I tried the warmed roast chicken too but no success yet. Even if I put a tiny bit directly in her mouth she spits it out. No luck with the tuna she ate last time either. 😦 
She’s putting up with two gentle face washes a day, the eyes she seems to appreciate having cleaned, she even leans into a warm damp tissue and helps. But her nose she hates me anywhere near so I have to be quick and just dab at the sides. Because she’s breathing through her mouth she’s drooling, so her chin and front paws get a wipe too.
I’m deeply frustrated that the vet said she was eating happily for them! I’ve got the exact food they fed her, I’ve tried putting the food in a couple of different locations in case that was a problem, and her water is cleaned out and freshened several times a day as I know some cats can be fussy about that. I’m hoping her third eyelid being visible is a result of the eyes weeping rather than a sign of pain. She’s currently curled up in a box of skirts I keep under my bed, probably hoping to avoid any more baths. If I don’t see her drinking by tomorrow I’ll try using an eye dropper to get some more fluids into her. Hopefully this horrible cold runs its course and as she feels better she will be more interested in food. It’s so upsetting to see her so sick and miserable. She’s still very sweet and affectionate and purrs away if you scratch her ears or give her a pat. 

Theatre and kites

This post is the fifth of eight, showing this artwork develop from start to finish. See the first parts:
1. Mental Health Week Exhibition
2. Progress…
3. Painting painting
4. The kite progresses…

Tonight I went to see a play Also a Mirror, by Urban Myth Theatre of Youth. It’s been far too long since I’ve been in a theatre. I enjoyed it immensely. It explored memory and the loss of memory in a lyrical poetic way. I’m sure some members of the audience have a personal connection to Alzheimer’s or Dementia, and for them the celebration of love, and the anguish of such personal losses cut deep. I saw more than one person in tears at the bittersweet end. It was very beautiful. So, if you are looking for something to do over the weekend, I’d recommend a night at the theatre. Details here.

My kite is coming along really well, I’m on track for finishing the whole project very soon! Here she is:

And I’ve been working on the kite handle:

That was a flat piece of pine just like those on the right hand side when I started. Whee! I’ve always wanted to get into wood carving. The tool is a Dremel, an awesome little multipurpose hobbist machine. The body is a motor, and you can add all kinds of attachments, cutting, grinding, sanding, engraving etc. You can work with woods, metals, plastics, ceramics, glass… I love it! Just the thing to distract me from fretting about Abbie. I went to Bunnings the evening I had to leave Abbie at the vet, planning to buy various hand tools to cut and carve the kite handle. But I realised that the price of all the tools I needed individually was comparable to the price of this awesome set where I get many many tools and the speed to produce work very quickly. So I brought home the Dremel instead, then watched a few youtube videos about how to use it. Youtube is a fountain of skills based knowledge and every craftperson’s friend! Here I’ve carved and shaped my heart handle, next to sand and polish it. The kite just needs the body finished being embroidered with black yarn, the string and tail attached, the hanger and counterweight at the back, and her hair sewn on. Almost there! 🙂
See the next step here!

Abbie is not a happy cat yet

I’ve just brought Abbie home today and she is very miserable with a cold. The vet is hopeful that if I can keep food and water in her, she’ll recover quickly and build up her strength. She is very phlemy and unhappy right now, hopefully we can stop it turning bacterial.

Poor Abbie, new shaved areas she’ll have to grow out. At least its not cold anymore.

She’s mouth breathing as her nose and throat are all blocked up. I’ve been told I can wash her face only twice a day else her skin will likely become irritated.

Poor little darling. We have some extra top notch kitten food, which she’s been eating and keeping down at the vets so hopefully we can replicate that. She’s curled up on my bed in a patch of sunshine dozing at the moment. Still gives a lovely lovely purr when you stroke her or scratch her ears. Such a sweet cat!

Abbie’s coming home :)

The news is good! Abbie’s blood tests were fine and she’s eating and drinking – and keeping it all down now, which is the really important bit! The current theory is that she’s just fragile as she’s in such poor condition. Dehydration demolishes tiny underweight cats pretty quickly. So, a night on a drip and some super quality kitten food later, she’s apparently much brighter. I’ll be off to collect her tomorrow morning, and hopefully we’ll get it right this time! Poor little darling, she wasn’t very happy about being left at the vet – any more than I was to leave her there! 😦 I’ve been recommended to try warmed roast chicken if I’ve having trouble coaxing her to eat again, so I’ll buy some on the way to the vet tomorrow, so I’ve got it in the fridge for this weekend should she need it. Fingers and toes crossed, come on Abbie, you can do it!

Competitions and Resources

Just a reminder – the Open Your Mind Poetry Competition is on again this year, accepting entries until Sept 9th. I’ve been invited to be one of the speakers at the ceremony announcing the winners later this year. 🙂 For more details about that, see my new Upcoming Events page.


The competition is run by the Mental Health Coalition of SA, who are also the awesome and very busy people running the Big Circle Arts Collective, arranging the Mental Health Week art exhibitions and the TheMHS exhibition, and setting up Mind Share – which will be an online blogging community, showcasing creative projects with mental health information and resources. You can still submit art, poems, and short stories to them, or offer to become a regular blogger. As you can see, I love all their projects and jump in with nearly everything they run!


The other folks behind the Open Your Mind poetry competition are the SA Writers Centre who host the event. I went for a visit the other day and met up with the absolutely lovely Jude Aquilina to ask for publishing advice about my various presentations and projects. I am working on converting some of these into a printed form and trying to decide between various publishing opportunities. Jude was very encouraging! If you are also inclined in the literary area, I highly recommend introducing yourself to this wonderful resource. They have a regular newsletter full of information, competitions, opportunities and advice. 

The kite progresses…

This post is the fourth of eight, showing this artwork develop from start to finish. See the first parts:
1. Mental Health Week Exhibition
2. Progress…
3. Painting painting

Making major progress on the kite. I’ve finished painting all the blue areas at last!

I’m so glad that part’s done with! And here is why it took so long:

See that tiny brush? Yes. Lesson for next time – use a bigger brush! In the middle is my old palette which I used to colour match exactly my new palette of blues. I keep these for weeks by misting them with water and wrapping them in cling wrap. Next, painting my PMC face, takes a few layers for good coverage.

I attach her face with screws to a piece of dowel that will become part of the frame at the back that hangs the whole piece. (as needing to be pegged to the curtains is not a hanging method widely accepted by galleries, sadly)

Now, time for some more sewing… at last, something I can do and watch a movie at the same time. I’ve been listening to movies that are primarily dialogue driven while painting this, which rules out my subtitled foreign film collection. Coupling and Spooks episodes work well, Bladerunner of course is great as I know every scene by heart anyway. Robin Hood – the Disney version, is very sing-a-long-able, as is Labyrinth. Igby goes down was great except it kept making me cry. And one night I packed it all in and curled up on the couch with Cyrano de Bergerac, one of my all time favourites, which needs full attention due to rapid subtitles. So there you go. This weeks recommendation for inspiring movies to paint to.

See the next step here.

Abbie’s at the vet

Here’s a lovely photo of Abbie from this morning, curled up like a little possum on my bed.

But, it’s just me and the goldfish again tonight. 😦

(yeah yeah, goldfish don’t photograph well)
The vet is hanging onto Abbie for tonight at least. She’s badly dehydrated, not even keeping water down at the moment. So, it’s a drip and some tests for her. Horrible feeling coming home from a vet without your critter. I hope she’s going to be okay!

Feeling very down. Spent some time sitting in the garden today admiring all the gorgeous flowers.

Update on Abbie

How is Abbie settling in? She is a darling little cat, extremely affectionate. She seems to have no fear of strangers at all and will happily snuggle up with a new person. She is very timid however. Vehicles driving past the house seem particularly to worry her, and ceiling fans to upset her also. The first day she spent about 5 hours hiding behind the couch. The second only perhaps 2 hours. At the moment she’s asleep on my bed, most content. She’s discovered the joys of sitting in the warm patch of sunlight on the kitchen floor.

She’s thoroughly explored every bit of the house, dashing back to check I’m still here regularly.

At night she sleeps on my bed, staying there all night even though I tend to toss and turn a fair bit. She has a quiet little motor but purrs most contentedly. She doesn’t mind being picked up and will stay on your lap, staring adoringly up into your face. If she wants cuddles she follows you around hopefully but doesn’t ‘talk’ much.

Her low weight is worrying me however, she is very thin and having tummy troubles.

 The poor darling has no fat on her at all, her bones along the back and pelvis are very prominent to the touch. I’m having trouble finding food to coax her with. She is not at all interested in the dry cat food. The wet she will nibble but then vomits. So far other treats and tid bits she’s entirely ignored.

I hope perhaps she’s just adjusting to a new brand of food perhaps? If it continues I shall have to consult a vet. She seems happy enough and her coat is in lovely condition which is good. A part white cat for a girl with gothy proclivities is somewhat of a nuisance! She’s moulting in this lovely spring weather and I’ve been picking white cat fur from my clothes and out my paintings. 🙂

The bip on her nose is healing fine and her tummy is looking excellent with no sign of infection or pain. She is just the sweetest, gentlest little critter. Already toilet trained too! Just have to discourage the sharpening of the claws on my rug. 🙂

Business Card

So I’ve finally ordered some business cards, instead of forcing interested people to write my details down on scraps of paper or the back of their hand! I’ve decided on a two sided card, one in blue and white with my arty details, and the reverse in black and white with my Peer Worker details. You can see the front side here. I’ve paid for the cheapest postage, so they’ll probably take three weeks to arrive. I’ll try to contain my excitement! It’s been a number of years since I’ve needed a business card, and previously I bought packs of make-it-yourself and ran them through a printer or stamped my details by hand. These are going be pretty amazingly professional by comparison!

I was originally waiting until I had myself completely set up with a website etc. But I felt guilty the last time a nice lady was scratching my details onto a scrap of paper and decided to print up what I’ve got now, and print some more when and if I decide to set up other business-y things.

If you’re looking to print your own, I’d recommend Vista Print. If you wait and watch you can usually get 250 business cards free – just be aware that as you’re getting excited ordering free items, your postage costs are accumulating. So check your final costs before placing the order! But you can certainly have a lot of fun playing around with different designs. I do feel that being an artist, I should probably have an artwork on my card… but on the other hand my style is so eclectic that nothing is exactly representative. I like the swirls, they’re pretty but neutral in that respect. I liked one with poppies on it too, but the black and white reverse wasn’t so pretty.

Recovering from Trauma – Object Constancy

At Bridges this week we talked about ways people recover from trauma, beginning with the area of Object Constancy. Simply put, object constancy is something children generally develop as they grow. It is about attachment, and means that – when Mum is out of the room, the child understands that she still exists, and is able to be comforted by the thought of her. Children who do not have object constancy have an ‘out of sight – out of mind’ kind of experience, where if Mum isn’t in sight, she ceases to exist entirely, which is frightening and upsetting. A lack of object constancy in adulthood can be a painful part of a number of different mental illnesses. Many people with dissociative disorders have difficulties in this area.I’m no exception. I’ve discovered that managing chronic dissociation is often about finding creative ways to help information cross dissociative divides. So, I have learned that I need reminders of my important relationships around me, such as photographs. I wear perfumes that have links to people that are special to me, such as my Grandma, or my lovely neighbour Marie when I was a child. I have had to write the names of my friends on paper and pin them somewhere I can read them regularly, or when I am stressed, I forget that these people exist and care about me.

That sounds cosy and simple. The reality is more complex. Sometimes there are no relationships to draw comfort from. Sometimes there are relationships, but they are cold, or distant, or abusive. None of these qualities inspire attachment. There’s no point in trying to overcome dissociation to be more connected to an existence that is painful and destructive. There’s often a reason it’s there in the first place. Sometimes relationships can look and seem close, but be missing essential qualities that create connection. Sometimes, feeling lonely in a relationship can be indicative not of attachment problems, but of a relationship that is disconnected on some fundamental level. I once had a close relationship with someone like an aunt in my life. Increasingly discontented and confused by my sense of distance I tried to rebuild a closeness between us, sending gifts and cards and calling by. Eventually when confronted she told me that she had stopped loving me years before, but still maintained the semblance of a friendship so that I would not make a fuss. Having attachment issues does not mean that all your relationships are good and any problems are always you.

But, when there are good caring people around you, having them cease to exist on an emotional level the moment they leave your side is a horrible and frustrating experience. So, carry pictures of your children with you. Keep tokens that remind you of your loved one. I have a candle I burn at Christmas in memory of my Grandma. She’s still with us every Christmas. I wear jewellery given to me by people special to me. I keep cards on display for months. This is the place I’m trying to stay out of:

I can’t feel you

or see you
everything is dark here
and you are
only a story told to me
so alien and lovely
I try to believe
That the world is not empty
That other hearts beat in the dark
But it is difficult
On the edge of my vision, you blur into the night
Becoming only shadows and whispers
The wind speaks cruel things to me
And I wonder
If there is any love left in the world.

Introducing Abbie

Abbie has arrived at last! I went to pick her up, so decided I did rather urgently need a cat carrier. I was able to get one from Cheap as Chips for only $15, which as long as I don’t drive too much shouldn’t overstress my budget. 🙂 And cat toys! Being a young cat she’ll probably love to play with them.

So, here she is, very sweet and very timid:

But the prettiest little thing! Long white socks on all her feet, white tummy and white face mask. A lovely black striped possum tail, silver and black markings on her back, and lovely copper touches around her ears.

She’s painfully thin and was very excited about dinner. Shivering with nervous energy she’s thoroughly explored the house from top to bottom – the rooms I’ll allow her in. Ever minute or two she comes back to me to wrap herself purring around my legs, then disappears to explore somewhere else. I’d forgotten how much cats like hidey holes! She has found the gap under the computer desk, the space beneath the couch, under the dining room dresser, behind the microwave, behind the washing machine, and, well, you get the picture!

And it wasn’t long before I heard a crash from the bathroom…

She’d knocked over my make up box. Then she disappeared for 20 minutes, generating an increasingly frantic search on my part as I envisioned her somehow escaping through a corner of window screen I’d not noticed before was damaged. Finally found her behind the couch. Oh, the joys of parenthood!

She’s adorable, lively, affectionate and in need of lots of love. Can’t wait until she has a little more fat over those bones and the tummy stitches come out.

Scattering Stars

I’ve framed and submitted for exhibition a linoprint series I made in Printmaking Foundation last year at TAFE. The theme was a narrative of any kind. Here they are, all together – the story goes from top to bottom.

I know that’s not easy to see, so I’ve taken a photo of each print individually. Sorry about the quality of these photos, I didn’t think to take them until after I’d framed them, so the reflection off the glass has made things tricky. Here’s the little explanation of the story I’ve included with  my submission to the Mental Health Week Exhibition:

This artwork is in honour of my friendship with my sister. As children we played together at night in the backyard. The world was full of magic and wonder, and our pets were our companions on all our adventures. In the little story, a storm washes the stars and moon from the sky. The little girls collect them and scatter them back into the heavens. My sister still helps put the stars back in my sky after storms.

Submission to Mental Health Week Exhibition

Well, I have sent off my submission, so I’ll stop boring you all with a blow by blow description of a life in the week of a mad artist. And hopefully catch up on some more sleep. I hate this part of the artistic process – the framing is painfully time consuming especially when you don’t have any of the right tools (on my wish list) and are too short of money to pay for those nice mats and large bits of appropriately coloured card to mount the work. Everything must have a wire for hanging across the back of the frame – which is a lot of extra time nailing/screwing/gluing all as carefully as possible so you don’t stress the glass too much and bust it – been there done that.

And paperwork! I spent an hour filling in the damn form, it’s a docx download which I don’t have the software for. I converted it and filled the whole thing in, saved it and tried to attach it to my email to submit – and discovered the converter had crashed and corrupted the file so badly it couldn’t be opened anymore. This was at midnight. I cried. I then filled out everything again – they want up to 100 words of what each artwork is about, plus mind numbing details such as the exact size of each frame. And as it’s a word document, you have to keep reformatting it as you add information and deleting pages of little dots. I could print, complete by hand, then scan and email, but that means manually counting the words in each category. Grrrrrr.

In the end, I submitted 5 works, three ink paintings – 2 I’ve already posted here, this is the third:

It’s called Homelessness, something with which I am all too depressingly familiar. Instead of a description of my experiences, I included this short poem:

I only want a home
a small safe place to bed
a burrow to hide in
a pillow to catch my tears
an oven to cook my meals
windows to keep out the rain
so precious
so precious when you have lost them
I want so much
a place to call my own.

I also included a linoprint series and a pic of my kite in progress, and offered if they were happy to let me submit it I’d keep working on it and finish it up asap. No reply yet, we’ll see what they think about that.

New plan

I’ve hit the wall and had to re schedule my week. I’ve not been sleeping well for a while and I badly need to catch a few more hours. The caring role is tough and draining at the moment, more than I was expecting. Coping with a new treatment is always rocky I guess. Heard some terrible stories too from other mental health advocates yesterday, and it’s all too much. I spent most of yesterday bursting into tears at random times, and by last night I was shattered. Cried on my sister’s shoulder for a bit, and then on a nice lady from the Suicide Call Back Service. They provide support for people at risk of suicide, as well as carers of someone at risk of suicide. Then I took a sleep inducing antihistamine and knocked off. My glands are up, my asthma is giving me trouble, the fibro symptoms are not good, and my dissociation level is climbing. Time to stop!

So, I’m cancelling TAFE tonight and the Salisbury Writers Festival Awards tomorrow night. 😦 I’ve been told I’ve received a Highly Commended for one of the Haiga I submitted. I’ll have to ask them to post it instead. How terribly disappointing! I’m going to trek in for my Group today and concentrate on getting to the one tomorrow as well. I’m not going to finish my kite in time for the cut off date. Sometime today or tomorrow I’ll photograph the other four works and send off my submission. The rest of the time I’ll hopefully catch up on sleep, read, paint a little, and rest up until I’m feeling less fragile.

And sometimes I’m asked why I consider myself to be an artist with a disability.

On a different note – I’m declaring that it is Hug Your Pet week. Another two people I know have had their beloved pets die recently too. If you’ve still got one, give it a hug. If you don’t – I know how you feel. Hugs for you.

Painting painting

This post is the third of eight, showing this artwork develop from start to finish. See the first parts:
1. Mental Health Week Exhibition
2. Progress…

Okay, today I managed to spend another hour in the cold in a car park waiting for the RAA… drove in that heavy rain we had this morning and forgot to turn my lights off when I parked. That was after turning up to the wrong venue for my appointment! My stars are not aligning this week.

But, I have managed to make more progress, one of the tricky parts has been re-matching the paint colours from earlier portions. I started this project over a year ago – but I did keep an aid – my old dried out paint palette to help me colour match. Still took about 1/2hr to mix all the blues up correctly. I think they’re harmonizing well though, I don’t think anyone will be able to tell old work from new.

Finished the beading work, hoping to get the blues all done tonight and maybe even the face painted and stitched on too. Then the frame, fringe and embellishments, and everything photographed, framed, and the application form completed. Getting there!

See the next step here.

Progress…

This post is the second of eight parts showing the development of this artwork from start to finish.
See the start here.

Okay, tea break. My lovely kite is progressing well. Now, don’t scream, but as its a representation of coming through life with attendant issues such as mental illness, it was never intended to look perfect. She’s come through a few wars.

And then another couple of hours of painting later, I’m up to the embroidery part – stitching in the missing skeleton structure of the wings with beads and crystals.

Next, back to the paint to finish off all the blue. That should keep me occupied for a while yet!

See the next step here.

Aarrggh!

Okay, so it goes like this:
Head out the door in confident assumption errands will only take ~1hr max.
Go to Cheap as Chips. Doesn’t have anything I’m looking for.
Go to Bunnings – buy hanging supplies, screws and dowel.
Go to newsagent – buy black card for mounting art
Go to Reject Shop – buy 4 frames – one very long and unwieldy that wont fit in my green bag.
Need milk. Local shops wont accept credit card gah, so go to ATM, lean large unwieldy frame against ATM, take out $20… walk off forgetting frame.
Buy milk, go home, unpack van.
Realise have left large, most expensive frame at shops!
Drop everything and rush back, hoping no one has collected it.
Back at shops, no sign of frame. 😦
Go back to Reject Shop to repurchase frame.
Complain to cashier about buying it again – turns out they have the other one! Issued a refund and sent home with my frame. Hurrah!
Pile back into van, van doesn’t start.
Unpack front seat to check out engine. Nothing obvious wrong. Top up oil. Scrape some build up from battery terminal. Try again – nothing.
Call RAA. Told about an hour wait.
Sit in van in deep gloom. Decide if I go buy something to eat I wont have to break for tea tonight so at least the time wont be a total waste.
Head off to find food. Buy food. Return to van. Discover I have locked keys in van.
Argh!
Eat tea. Talk myself out of buying David Bowie CD on special at newsagents, mainly because I cannot eat, drink, or immediately listen to it. Instead buy Val McDermid book. Damn.
Read, wait for RAA chap. He arrives!
Van is uncommonly difficult to break into. Stand in rain while RAA chap tries several different methods on both doors. Try not to think of milk sitting on the kitchen floor back home.
He succeeds! Show him how van fails to start. He hooks up jumper leads. Van starts. Turn off van. He takes off jumper leads. Van still starts, with enthusiasm. Can’t tell me what went wrong.
Head home!
Sheesh.

Mental Health Week Exhibition

This post is the first of eight showing this project developing from start to finish.

The final date to submit artwork for this exhibition is this Friday, so I am frantically painting. I have some smaller works, ink paintings and a set of linocuts all done and ready to be framed. But I also have a major project I’m trying to get done in time. As of 4am this morning I’d got this far:

And also sculptured her face, ready to be fired in my oven.
Then, a few hours sleep, and back to it.
I’m just having a break for breakfast and to do my daily post. 🙂 I’ve finished one wing finally. Here she is:


Now I’m going to run off to the shops to buy frames and hanging supplies. By the time I get back that wing should be dry enough that I can fold it up to start on the other wing without smudging the paint. I also have to paint the face, add hair, other embellishments, and mount the whole kite onto a frame for hanging. Hopefully by the end of today. Wish me luck!

See the next step here.

I’m going to be a Foster Mum

Hurrah! I am becoming a Foster Mum this Saturday, to a lovely little 9 month old cat named Abbie. She will have just been de-sexed, and I’ve been told she’s very timid and shy and needs some TLC before being adopted. So I’ve been out gathering supplies in readiness.

I’m very excited! I also want to buy a proper cat carrier – too many bad experiences with upset cats escaping from cardboard boxes on the way to the vet! But my budget wont stretch that far this week, and finger’s crossed, I wont need it for a little while anyway. I can’t wait to meet her and find out all about her – which spot in the house will be her favourite to nap? (please, not my art table!) What food does she like most? Does she purr a lot or a little? Does she ‘talk’? What colour is she? I don’t know how I’m going to wait until Saturday…

But, on the other hand, I have an insanely busy week I am already thinking of hiding under my desk about. Tomorrow is really the last day I’m going to have time to get my artwork organised for the Mental Health Week Exhibition. I am not ready! I have to finalise my collection, then arrange framing for it all of it, finish anything that needs a last bit of work – I am notorious for forgetting to sign and date my art – photograph everything, complete the entry form and email it all off. Pfftttt I can feel the late night approaching from here…